Page 415 of The First Time
Chapter Forty
Lizzy hugs me the second I get home. I don't need a mirror to know the hurt is written all over my face. There's nowhere else for it to go. I'm bursting at the seams.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
I shake my head and hug my sister a little tighter.
"You want to talk about it?" she asks.
"Yeah, I do." For once, I really do.
We talk for hours. I tell Lizzy everything that's happened with Blake the last two months. I tell her about the will, about Meryl, about where I'm applying to school.
She listens with rapt attention. She confesses that Stanford was her first choice, that she was always planning to go there but was too afraid to tell me.
I send her to bed sometime after midnight. Itisa school night. She mutters something about how she already got out of school for my fake wedding and there's no way she's leaving me alone.
Still, I head to my room. I draw instead of sleeping.
Everything is Blake. Or something to do with Blake. The guy is still the only thing I can think about.
And it's not like I can blame him. He was always clear about his intentions. He was always true to his word.
Hell, it's not like he said no. It's not absolute. There's still a chance. A tiny chance, but that's something.
* * *
Lizzy stays home from school.I stay locked in my room, alternating between napping and drawing.
I turn my phone off. I can't handle anI don't love you, I'm sorry. I need more time to lick my wounds before I open myself up to that possibility.
At lunchtime, Lizzy knocks to ask if I've eaten. When I say no, she brings grilled cheese and tomato soup. Exactly what Mom always made on rainy days. I dip my sandwich in the soup so it soaks up the rich tomato flavor.
Lizzy sits on my bed, watching me carefully. "So, I was thinking…"
"Yeah?" I stuff another bite of cheesy goodness in my mouth.
She really tries to sell the enthusiasm. "We have the Botanical Gardens rented out tomorrow. Maybe we should go. It could be nice."
Nice isn't the right word. Not at all.
I stare at her, trying to figure out why she's suggesting this.
It's not like her.
She's smarter than this. I don't need a reminder of Blake's willingness to commit to a loveless life with me.
Lizzy plays with her jeans. "Kat. I know you're upset, but you love the park. I walked by yesterday and it's gorgeous. It's got to be the last few days the trees are in bloom. They're so pink and so full. Do you really want to miss that?"
Damn. She knows my weakness. "Okay."
"Good." She smiles.
It's too much of a smile. Like she has something up her sleeve.
She shifts off the bed. "I'll let you work." She closes the door as she leaves.
Music blares from her room, but I swear I hear voices. Like she's on the phone with someone.
Like she's planning something.
