Page 381 of The First Time

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I'm madly in love with him.

And he's looking at me with every ounce of concern in the world.

"I'll make sure you get your money," he says. "Even if she dies before the wedding."

"I don't care about the money."

"Let's do it here, tomorrow. There's a chapel down the hall. Your dress should be ready. Ashleigh can call the tailor. I'll offer him double to get it done overnight."

I take an easy breath.

Blake's expression is desperate. He needs control over this. He needs to go through with this lie.

But I need something he can't give me.

I can't marry him like this.

"No," I say.

"Kat, please."

"I'm sorry." A tear rolls down my cheek. Meryl is going to die and there's nothing I can do to save her.

There was nothing I could do to save my parents.

There's nothing I can do to fix this.

"Kat. Think about what you're saying."

I swallow hard. Just one last time. I lean in and press my lips to Blake's. He tastes good. Like whiskey and like Blake. "Goodbye." I push myself off the bench. "I'll visit her in the morning."

"Kat. You can't."

I shake my head. "I have to. I… I'll find a way to pay you back for the apartment. Somehow."

"It's only one day. Half an hour. Then she can die happy."

"I'm sorry." I pull the ring off my finger and press it into his palm.

"But why?"

"Do you love me?"

"Kat…"

"That's the only way you can change my mind."

And it's never going to happen.

He's never going to fall in love with me.

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