Page 357 of The First Time
He kisses my neck again.
It's soft and sweet.
But it's sex.
It has to be just sex.
If I'm not careful, I'll get my heart broken.
I clear my throat. "Let's order dessert."
His composure breaks for a second. His brow furrows. It's like he's trying to figure me out. He glances at my now mostly empty plate and nods.
"Then I'll take the subway home," I say. "I haven't narrowed down my school choices, and I'm sure you have a lot to do at the office."
He stares at me. "No."
"What do you mean no?"
"I mean you're not going home. You're coming back to my place."
"No."
"There's only one way for you to say no, Kat, and it's not that word." His expression hardens. "You're coming home with me tonight."
Can't he see I'm trying to protect myself?
Maybe he doesn't care. He doesn't need protection. He's cool and aloof and impervious to all the pain that comes with falling in love.
I push myself out of the booth. "I'm going home by myself." I hold his stare. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Blake's gaze is intense. I turn away, but I can still feel it on me.
I don't get it.
He says he cares about me. But then why is he teasing me? Why is he offering breadcrumbs? Why is he so fucking lovable?
I can't do this.
Not if he's going to keep dangling his heart in front of me.
Not if he's going to pretend as if he's offering more.
The bathroom is through a small hallway. I pull the door open and step inside.
It's nice. Expensive.
The counter is marble, the mirror is smudge-free, the sink is a porcelain rectangle.
I run the water and splash it on my face. No makeup today. Nothing to wash off.
I'm just Kat, or maybe the shell of Kat left by whatever Blake is doing to me.
The door opens. I stare at the mirror, trying to ignore it. This is a public restroom. These things happen.
"This isn't our deal."
What the fuck? That's Blake.
