Page 352 of The First Time

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"No-strings-attached sex?"

"That's the impression I get." She pushes the door open. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

She leads me to the main room. "It's beautiful."

It is.

It's perfect.

I should be happy.

I should be crying.

God, if my mom were here, if I were really getting married, there would be major waterworks.

She would have loved this dress. It's gorgeous. A ball gown with a wide v-neck and a subtle flare. Lace sleeves go all the way to my wrists. There's a small bow right beneath the low v of the back.

It's perfect.

Ashleigh motions for me to twirl.

I do it.

I feel silly, but when I catch my dress whooshing in the mirror—

It's perfect.

I'm Cinderella getting dressed for the ball.

Ashleigh pins a veil to my hair and pulls its fabric behind my head.

There I am, the girl who will be standing at the altar opposite Blake.

A sob rises up in my throat. I try to push it down, but it won't go.

I wipe away a tear. Another.

I shake my head.I'm okay.

I have to pretend these are happy tears.

I have to be able to handle this.

"Excuse me." I rush to the dressing room and slam the door shut behind me.

"Kat." Ashleigh knocks on the door. "Are you okay?" She lowers her voice. "I can get that champagne."

"I just need a minute."

She moves away from the door. I slink to my feet, pulling my knees into my chest the best I can. The full skirt is in the way. Not even this is going right.

They're talking in the main room. It's that loud whisper. The kind of thing my parents did when we were kids.

They go quiet. Footsteps move closer. Someone knocks on the door.

"Kat, can we talk?" Lizzy asks.

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