Page 335 of The First Time
He pulls me closer. "I thought it was normal. That all houses were that full of hatred. My parents were always drinking. It gave her courage. It made him angry. It was a toxic combination. He'd threaten to hit her and she'd call him a coward. She'd dare him to do it."
"She was brave."
"But stupid." He drags his fingers through my hair. "I did the same thing when I stepped in. So he'd take out all his anger on me. The asshole didn't care who he hurt as long as he hurt someone."
I squeeze his hand. I don't know what to say. Only that I want to be here. To listen. To help him. To hold him.
"I didn't do enough to protect her or Fiona. I could have called the police. I could have cut his brake lines. I could have stopped him for good."
"That's a hell of a choice for a fourteen-year-old to make."
He shakes his head. His expression softens. His posture does the same.
It's like he's sinking into me.
I do the same. I melt into him.
We stay pressed together, breathing together, for a long time. The room is still. Silent. But it's comfortable.
I feel safe in his arms. Even with all this ugliness swirling around us.
He brushes my hair between my eyes. "I have a perfect distraction."
I wipe my eyes, willing my feelings back into the box where I usually stuff them.
"Or we can stay here."
I take his hand and rise to my feet. "Is it sex?"
He laughs. Actually laughs. God, it really is a nice laugh. He eyes crinkle. His cheeks spread to his ears.
He has a dimple.
It's the best thing I've ever seen.
I have my clarity.
I want to be by his side.
Whatever that means.
I take Blake's hand and follow him out of the room.
