Page 222 of The First Time
Chapter Four
You have terms. What are they? What exactly do you want?
It's a complicated question.
For the last three years, I've been surviving. I haven't let myself want anything more than a roof over my head and three hot meals a day.
It's overwhelming, opening myself up to possibilities.
I press my palm against the window. It's cold. Sleek. Unbending. "What would we even be doing?"
His hand brushes my shoulders. Then my cheek. He tilts my chin so we're eye to eye. "I'll introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend. We'll get engaged. Then we'll have a quick wedding. You'll be on my arm at dinners, for weekend trips, at some family functions."
"How am I supposed to convince people I'm in love with you? I don't even know what that looks like."
"Look into my eyes."
I do.
"Like you love me."
Okay… I try to imagine a guy I'll love one day. A real husband. Him hanging my art on the walls, much to my embarrassment. Taking me up to the top of the Empire State Building on my birthday. Kissing me under the cherry blossom trees.
"Perfect."
It is? I'm just thinking… but I'm not going to talk myself out of a huge chunk of change. Still— "I don't want to lie to anyone, much less everyone."
His eyes are on fire. "My intentions are good."
"That and three dollars will buy you a cup of coffee."
"You have integrity."
"Is that a compliment or an insult?"
"What do you think?"
I don't know. He's intense. Hard to read. Appealing.
I finish my last drop of gin and tonic then unbutton my coat. Blake slides it off my shoulders and takes it into his arms.
He leads me back to his office and hangs it on his door.
The space seems smaller.
He's too close.
But then, I want him closer.
I want his body pressed against mine.
"Why do you need me?" I might be talking him out of this, but I have to know. "Why not find some girl who wants to be your girlfriend?"
"That wouldn't be fair."
"Because…"
"She'd have expectations." He slides his suit jacket off his shoulders. "I don't fall in love. I never have, and I never will."
