Page 133 of The First Time
Mal looks at me. "Let's talk."
"I don't have anything to say to you." I roll my shoulders back. I'm staying strong here. Even if Mal knows.
Kit shoots me ayes you dolook.
Maybe I do, but I don't have any desire to listen to Mal's excuses. I look into my brother's eyes. "You made a show of inviting me into your life in a way you never had before. Then you used it as a bargaining chip to get what you wanted. Unless the next words out of your mouth areI'm sorry, I was wrong,I don't have anything to say to you."
Mal's voice is even. "I'm sorry. I was wrong."
What? Mal doesn't apologize. But it's there in his eyes—he's sorry. It's a hint of remorse, but a hint is a lot for him.
"Now, let's talk," Mal says.
"Here?" I ask.
He nods to Kit then he looks back to me. "Privately. You want to get dressed first?"
"No." I fold my arms over my chest. This is about what I wear for pajamas all summer, but it's different. It screamsI had sex last night. I'm wearing the clothes that belong to the guy I fucked.
"I'll give you guys a minute." Kit nods to his bedroom. His dark eyes meet mine.
I can't place his expression. He doesn't seem worried. But is that because Mal is cool with this or because Kit has already accepted the fallout?
Or am I imagining the recognition in Mal's eyes?
It's early and I'm yet to imbibe caffeine. My deduction skills aren't at their best.
Mal nods to the kitchen. "Kit made coffee."
"Not right now."
Mal sits on the couch.
I sit next to him.
His unreadable blue eyes give nothing away. "You can come to Europe if you want."
"Gee, what a warm invitation. Thank you."
"I was wrong about the awards ceremony. I shouldn't have pushed you like that." He gets a far off look in his eyes. "I keep thinking they're coming back because they want us to be a family again. But..."
He's still holding onto hope Mom and Dad will give a fuck about us.
It's sweet.
Even if it makes him into an asshole.
"I doubt they'll care you aren't there." He looks to me. "Education is everything to them. They won't threaten to kick you out or stop paying your tuition."
"I want to transfer to an acting program." I clear my throat and adopt my most confident posture. "They won't pay for that."
He shakes his head. "Then I will."
"As long as I do it the way you want?"
"No strings. It will be a gift."
"Like the suitcase?"
