Page 303 of Breaking the Rules

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But that doesn't help either.

I try to practice the words in my head, but they won't come. I can barely say it to myself. How will I ever admit it to anyone else? "I guess it's obvious."

"How much you love emo music? Yeah. But I still love you."

"You—"

"Fuck. I… I do. But that's not what—"

"You love me?"

"Yeah." His voice is soft. Steady. "I love you."

"Oh." Warmth breaks up the tension in my chest. It's weird. So fucking weird. Part of me is stiff and awkward. Another part wants to float.

"I didn't mean to say that."

"You don't want—"

"This is about you, baby. This is your space. I don't want to push you."

"Okay."

"You don't have to say it back."

"Okay." I swallow hard. "I never have before."

"Me either."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well… thanks."

"You're welcome."

My laugh is awkward. "This is weird."

"Yeah."

"I… Is it obvious what happened?"

He shakes his head.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I… do I have to say it?"

"You don't have to do shit. But I'm not gonna guess. I'm not gonna do that to you."

"Oh." I pull the blanket over my head. This is so big. Bigger than anything else in the room.

I want to tell him.

I really do.

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