Page 193 of Breaking the Rules

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There's only one thing I can say to help her understand this.

I force the words from my lips. "I'm an alcoholic."

"What?" Her dark eyes fill with surprise.

"I got out of rehab a few weeks ago. That's why I'm here."

"But you… you were always sneaking bottles over."

I nod.

"You always smelled like bourbon."

"Yeah."

"And all the liquor in the house is missing."

"Yeah."

"I thought… that you just liked to party."

"So did I."

"Oh." She sits up and presses her back against the wall. "So you… um… what do I say here?"

"Whatever you're thinking."

She stares at me for a long moment. "Brendon knows?"

"Yeah."

"Anyone else?"

"Everyone at Blacklist. Some old friends."

"But no one… fuck, there was so much booze at your party." Her face goes white. "Did you…" Fear fills with eyes.

Did you have a drink?

Did you fuck everything up?

Are you lost forever?

"No." I keep my voice steady. I'm not good at much, emotionally speaking, but I'm pretty good at not drinking at this point. "I'm still sober."

"Oh. Good. I…" She looks to me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You looked at me like I was worthwhile."

"You are."

"Maybe." I press my palms into my quads. Fuck, I want to touch her. I'm dying to touch her.

And not just sexually.

Yeah, I want to make her come.

But I also want to hold her all night.

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