Page 185 of Breaking the Rules

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This is good.

Shit with Emma is fucked.

But this is really fucking good.

I suck a breath through my teeth. Exhale slowly. There's no more anger coursing through my veins.

Only a lightness.

It's just as overwhelming.

No one told me that when I was getting sober.

No one explained that good would be as hard to handle as bad.

Griffin nods to Wes, who seamlessly extricates himself from his conversation with Dean and heads over.

We're right under the speaker.

It's blasting one of Emma's CDs.

That same one Chase loves.

It's bizarre.

But perfect too.

Griffin stands and offers me a hug.

I accept it.

Wes does that handshake hug thing.

"Thanks for coming." I don't know how to handle these interactions. Not sober. I suck a breath through my teeth. Exhale slowly. I need to stay present. To be honest. That's all I can offer.

It's one moment at a time.

I can handle one fucking moment.

Griffin nods. "You look good."

"I miss the eyeliner," Wes says.

"Sober," Griffin says.

Wes chuckles. "Fuck, dude, you aren't supposed to come out and say it."

"Are you?" Griffin's eyes flit to the half a dozen bottles lined up on the bar.

There's a lot, and some of my favorites too.

The comfortable numb is still appealing.

But I don't want to drink.

It's too obvious that will fuck shit up.

Maybe that isn't the world's best reason for staying sober.

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