Page 78 of Rock Me All Night
"But you have feelings for him?"
"We're friends." I think. I hope.
"Hmmm." She nods. "Okay. You're a big girl. I'll drop it if you give me every detail!"
"Everydetail?"
"Not a blow by blow." She laughs. "Just tell me what's going on. You know, like we're best friends or something."
"That would be something."
"Wouldn't it?"
"Okay." I take a deep breath, and I start at the beginning. I'm vague about the sex and about how mixed up he makes me feel, but I include all the other important details.
When I'm finished, she throws together a plan. There's a Sinful Serenade show Saturday and the two of us simply must make an impression. She has just the outfit I can borrow. Our height and cup-size differences are not an issue.
"You know how we're best friends and we tell each other things?" I ask.
"I don't like where this is going."
"Why are you trying to make an impression if you're set on staying just friends with Drew? You do like him."
"It's not about whether or not I'll like him. He'll never want me that way. And it's not worth the risk of things changing. When he got back in touch last winter, it felt like I'd found my favorite dress. I didn't realize how much I'd missed him until I heard his voice again. How good it felt just sitting next to him at dinner or during a movie." Her eyes get dreamy. "He's such a good friend. Overprotective, yeah, but he's sweet. And he makes me laugh. I can't lose that. Nothing would be worse than losing that."
"What if he started dating someone else?"
She frowns. "It's going to happen eventually. He's handsome and famous. Girls are always stopping him to ask for his autograph. They're always touching him. Their stupid hands on his arm like they deserve to touch him." She shakes her head. "Is it so wrong that I want him to look at me like he's desperate to rip off my clothes?"
"Depends what you'd do if he offered to rip your clothes off."
"He won't."
"But if he did?"
She lets out a sigh of pleasure. "I have to read five hundred pages tonight. I can't think about Drew ripping off my clothes or I won't make it through the first sentence." She pulls her knees into her chest. "What would you do if Miles developed feelings for you?"
"He won't."
"But if he did?"
"I have no idea."
* * *
I'min a daze the rest of brunch. Mostly, we talk about school. Midterms. Her plans to go home, to San Francisco, for Thanksgiving break. My attempts to avoid going home to see my parents for even a single weekend. The house still hurts too much.
At home, there's something waiting by my apartment door—a wrapped box, complete with an aqua-blue bow. The card is simple.
Good luck studying tonight.
- Miles
I set inside, throw myself onto the bed, and unwrap the box. It's a Nintendo 64 and two faded, gray cartridge games—Star Wars Episode I: RacerandStar Wars: Rogue Squadron.
How the hell did he track down two twenty-year-old games? I haven't seen either of these, or a Nintendo 64, in ages.
I connect the wires to the TV the same way I did when I was a kid—red to red, white to white, yellow to yellow.
