Page 288 of Rock Me All Night
"Same reason you didn't talk to me about your ex or your family."
He tilts me so our gaze meets. He's staring at me like he's demanding an explanation.
"Because it's ugly." My gaze goes to the ceiling. "Because I was tired of people worrying about me, or looking at me like I was damaged. Because my ex-boyfriend dumped me the day after he saw those scars. But mostly because I wasn't ready to tell anyone."
It's hard to breathe.
I pull the blanket over my head. I can't think those words. Not yet.
"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted." I shift into my pillow.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, fine. Goodnight."
"You sure?"
"Just tired." I turn and press my eyelids together.
"I'm gonna play for a while." He shifts off the bed. "Sweet dreams."
He stands in the doorway, eyes on me, for a few moments. Then he turns and he's gone.
And I'm stuck alone with the words I still can't admit.
* * *
We fall into a comfortable rhythm.
We have breakfast together. I go to school, study for hours in the library, come home and collapse on the couch. Drew holds me and strokes my hair and teases me mercilessly about how cute I look when I'm tired. He puts me to bed, forcing me to shower and dress and brush my teeth and making it very worth my while.
I push away my anxiety about the trip. I'm going to tell my mom and I'm going to survive it.
I'm going to let Drew help me.
I'm going to be okay.
The days of my tests are a blur. I'm in class or in the library or asleep in my bed. I walk out of my last final at two p.m. utterly exhausted. I'm about to crash on a concrete bench when I see a crowd forming on campus.
A dozen girls are milling around something. Or someone. I move closer. There's nervous shrieking laughter from the girls.
"Thank you, but I'm taken."
That's Drew.
He spots me through the girls and motionscome here. I push past them to rush into his arms. He squeezes me tightly.
"What are you doing here?" I squeeze him back. He's warm and he smells fucking good.
"I have a surprise for you." He kisses me like he's oblivious to the crowd we're drawing. "We don't have long. We're meeting the band for karaoke tonight."
"You sing karaoke?"
"No, but for you, I might make an exception."
