Page 84 of Rock Me All Night
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Everythingin this room is red and shiny, and the lights above our heads are a particularly fluorescent purple.
And Kara is here. She's standing at the sink touching up her lipstick. She makes eye contact through the mirror. "You okay?"
I nod.
"You look upset."
"It's nothing." I think it's nothing. I go to the mirror and check my makeup. It's fine but I need some excuse for why I'm here.
More lipstick can't hurt. It can't help either. Miles already wants to fuck me. What I need is something to convince him I'm worth his trust.
Do they make a shade calledgirl you tell your secrets to?Mine is some play on cherry red.
"Whatever is happening with Miles, it shouldn't leave you with that expression on your face." She plays with her tube of lipstick. "Like you just got hit by a truck."
I clear my throat. "It's nothing. I'm just not in the mood to be at a party anymore."
"Want to talk about it?"
I shake my head. "No. I… I'm just glad I can trust you. You're the only person in my life I can really trust."
"I'm not so sure we have the same definition of the word trust," she says. "Look at me and swear on your love of, um, what's that character called again? The hard-drinking robot?"
"Bender."
"Swear on your love of Bender that you're okay."
Do I really look that miserable? Idofeel unsettled. Why is Miles suddenly pulling back? We're supposed to have terms. No lies. No secrets.
I can't do this if he's going to whisper secrets with his bandmate.
Maybe he'll tell me. I'll ask again, give him another chance to tell me.
Kara slides onto the counter.
"I don't love Bender that much." I slide onto the counter next to her. "Something up with Drew?"
"You're not going to distract me unless you swear."
"I swear that I'll be okay." Eventually. "You know, Miles told me that Drew hasn't slept with anyone in a while."
"Really. That's interesting." She clears her throat, fighting her blush. "He invited me to dinner after the set. But I got the feeling everyone's invited."
"I doubt anyone is going to jump on that train. Including me. I'll say no and hang out here."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Well, I might take a cab. But I'll be fine."
"You know, Miles wrote a song about you. Heard through the grapevine that he's playing it tonight."
"Oh."
Kara is my best friend, and I trust her with almost anything. Just not how I feel about Miles. I can't even say it out loud. It would be admitting to giving in to the temptation that destroyed my sister.
I clear my throat. "So we're both totally inept with men."
