Page 637 of Rock Me All Night
His voice is heavy. Is he worried about me or about himself?
I keep my eyes on the pastel bedspread. "I'm not alone. Miles and Meg are here."
"You know what I mean."
I try to wait him out. Nothing. For a full minute, the room is filled only with the sound of our breath.
Finally, I break the silence. "Are you going to apologize?"
"I got carried away."
"That's not an apology."
"Come on, Jess." Frustration breaks through his calm voice. "We'll talk at home."
"At your home."
"It's our place."
"No, it's your place. I have a corner of a room. It's not even decorated with my stuff. It's still Tom's because you'll kick me out as soon as I stop being useful to you."
"If you want another room, you can have it. Decorate however you want. I don't care about that house."
"It's easy to offer things if you don't care about them." I pull the blanket tighter around my chest.
Pete leans closer. He brushes my hair behind my ears. "What do you want?"
I turn, so we're eye to eye. There's all this intention in his deep brown eyes, but I've got no clue what it is he's intending.
I swallow hard. My voice is a whisper. "You knew what you were doing."
His gaze goes to the blue light falling through the window. "I'm sorry if I led you on."
"There's no if."
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"Is that what you do when you forget your inhibitions—you call me baby?"
"It was dirty talk." His posture stiffens. "Didn't mean anything."
I push myself to a seated position. I need some semblance of power here. Even if being inches from him is doing things to my concentration. Damn body is fighting with my heart again. It doesn't need to respect itself in the morning. It doesn't care about anything but getting its satisfaction.
I allow myself a second to consider it. If it's all physical, if I use him to getmypleasure and give him nothing—
No. Even that won't work. I can't separate love and sex. Not with Pete. Not right now.
"You said you'd never lie to me." I stare into his eyes. "Don't start now."
"What do you want to hear?"
"Explain why you're playing with my feelings."
"I don't want to lead you on." He shifts off the bed.
"Do you love me?"
"No."
