Page 584 of Rock Me All Night
"Fuck yeah."
"Okay." That eases some of the tension in my chest. I have something to look forward to. I unlock my phone screen and stare at thecall backbutton. Okay. I can do this.
I dial and hold the phone to my ear.
She answers right away. "Jessie, is that really you?"
Her voice is excited and needy. She misses me too.
A million feelings rise up inside me. I'm angry, sad, nostalgic. I miss her but it still hurts.
I keep my voice even. "It's me."
"I miss you. I know that isn't any consolation, but I do."
Deep breath. I have to stay strong, to tell her she hurt me. "Why did you call?"
"To explain about Nathan." Her voice drops. "And to apologize. I know you hate me right now. I deserve it. I'm so sorry, Jessie. It was a bitch move sleeping with Nathan, but I really thought it was over. He told me you'd ended it."
Oh. That sounds like Nathan. But that's not enough to absolve her. "You didn't just sleep with him. You two are dating. You've been together for six months."
"I know. I'm sorry. There's no excuse. But you know how he is. He made me feel smart and special. And he had that way of explaining things that convinced me his ideas were right."
"Had that way?"
"We broke up a few days ago. When those pictures of you and… is that really you with Pete Steele?"
"Yes. But I'm not willing to discuss that with you."
"Oh. Sure."
I can hear her heart breaking through the speaker. I take a deep breath. She wants me to forgive her. And I want to forgive her. But I can't do it yet… it still hurts.
I rest my head on Pete's chest. He's warm and he smells good.
He runs his hand through my hair. "Want me to take over? I have some choice words for her."
I can't help but laugh. I shake my head and turn my attention back to the call. "I don't want to hate you forever, Maddie. But I'm not ready to forgive you."
Her voice is meek. "Please, Jessie. I'm so sorry. He got all jealous when those pictures came out and started going off about how he wanted to hurt you, how he only slept with me to hurt you. It made everything clear. I never should have been with him. I never should have let you go to California. I think about calling you every night. I miss you so much. I even read theHunger Gamesbooks to feel closer to you."
"You make it sound like it was a chore."
"No. I liked them. And you're right, Peeta is way better than Gale." She takes a deep breath. "I… I understand that I hurt you. Let me do something to make it up to you. Please."
"Eventually. I need more time first."
"How much time?"
I hold strong. "I don't know. A few more weeks at least."
"Uh… Well, you did trade up. Pete Steele is a lot hotter than Nathan."
Pete chuckles. I guess he can hear the phone. Madison is loud. I throw him ashhhlook.
"My sexy librarian." He smiles. "Should I make my mouth useful?"
As soon as I'm done with this.
