Page 489 of Rock Me All Night
"Says who?"
I laugh. "No video game characters."
"Toothless and Hiccup."
"If I get Toothless."
"No way! I want Toothless. How about Batman and Batgirl?"
"Now, I'm sure you're fucking with me."
He laughs and leads me inside. "Come on. I'm teaching Kara how to make shrimp scampi. You can oversee the veggie version."
"Okay."
"You sure I don't need to kill him?"
"Positive."
* * *
My contributionto the cooking process involves suggesting vegetables then plopping on the couch by myself. Drew and Kara take turns cooking and attempting to console me. I streamHow To Marry a Millionaireand get lost in the back and forth between the charming movie stars.
Dinner doesn't have a taste. My thoughts fill with concerns about Ophelia. And about Tom. His words were as good as a rejection, and I'm still worried about him. I dig my phone out of my purse, but Kara steals it.
"Don't text with a broken heart, sweetie." Kara turns my phone off. She motions to the couch. "Let's play a game."
"Yeah, how aboutCrash Team Racing? I'll let you pick the first track," Drew says.
They're trying but all I can feel is the pity in Tom's eyes when I told him I loved him. Like he thought I was pathetic for loving him. Like he thought I was a fool.
A game is a good idea. Anything besides thinking. I take a spot on the couch while Drew digs out an ancient PlayStation. There are only two controllers, so Drew and Kara take turns facing off with me. Drew and I used to play this game all the time when we were kids. I pick it up quickly. Him too. Kara not as much, but she laughs every time she accidentally drives off the edge.
We play for hours. Until we all know the game backwards and forwards. I try to leave but Kara insists she needs my help baking a cake. My help consists of sampling batter and instructing her to add more chocolate chips. It's something. A cake with insufficient chocolate isn't worth eating.
When we're finished, I excuse myself to the spare bedroom and collapse on the dark comforter. The room is sparse. No decorations on the walls, no clothes in the closet, no goodies in the dresser. The only thing in here is one of Drew's guitars and God knows I don't want to face him if I accidentally break it.
My computer is somewhere in my suitcase. There's no way I'll be able to resist the lure of checking on Tom through email or any of the half a dozen social media sites he manages for the band. Then there's his personal accounts. People who ask him to pose for a picture or sign an item of clothing tagging him... There might be a new picture. A clue to how he feels.
I'm already working myself into a tizzy. The computer is a bad idea.
I spend an hour pouring over the photos on my camera. Almost everything is wiped clean except for the last Sinful Serenade show. It's just as unwise looking at a dozen pictures of Tom that I took, but I try my best to look as a photographer and not a girl in love.
The pictures are good. The concerts are fun. Hazel is smart and talented. Working with her again is a great opportunity. But there's something lacking about it. There's nothing of me in these photos. They don't command me the way portraits or even headshots do.
Then again, I'm not sure how much energy I can muster to throw myself into photography sessions. I need to lick my wounds.
At this time of night, I might as well sleep on it. I find my pajamas in my suitcase, brush my teeth, wash my face. When I get back to the spare room, Kara is sitting in the bed holding a tablet.
She motionscome here. "Close the door. This is our secret."
I do.
"Drew has no idea this exists. He never looks at gossip sites." Her expression gets bashful. "It's embarrassing how often I do." She navigates to something on the tablet and hands it to me. "This went live about an hour ago."
There's an article on a well-known gossip site.Tom and Pete Steele Fighting Over the Same Woman? Love Triangle To Break Up Alternative Rock Band Sinful Serenade.
There's a picture of me and Tom talking outside the hospital. And another of Pete consoling me after Tom walked away. What kind of asshole takes pictures of people outside a hospital?
