Page 451 of Rock Me All Night
"Do you believe her?"
"Yeah. She'll do anything to get her way. But it's not out of malice. She always knows what we need."
"Sounds like you."
"I learned a lot from her." He nods. "Should have seen us fighting over me dropping out of school. Wasn't like I planned it. Just didn't take her getting sick too well. She was the first person who thought I was something other than a piece of shit."
There's something about his voice, a vulnerability. I squeeze his hand, offering whatever comfort I can.
He's quiet for a minute. When he breaks the silence, his voice wavers. Like he's not sure if he should share his secret. "My dad was never in the picture. My biological mom was a drug addict who let her boyfriend beat me when he came down from his high. A teacher picked up on it when I was eleven, then the state stepped in. Must have been in four or five foster homes before Ophelia. All the families were the same. Thought I was some no good punk. I was. Got into fights with the other kids, hit people, got suspended. Only thing I didn't do was drugs."
I turn to face him. There's an ocean of pain in his eyes. It sinks into my skin, as real as my own. I never want him to hurt again. That's impossible, I know, but I need to be there the next time he hurts, to ease his pain however I can.
I wrap my arms around Tom. It must do something to comfort him because his posture relaxes. He leans into my touch.
"Ophelia was the first person who saw past that. The only person. I didn't know how I could ever live in a world that didn't include her. I went on some stupid drinking and fighting tear to convince myself I'd be fine without her."
"What happened?"
"Didn't work. I held it together at home but I was a wreck the rest of the time. Would say I was going to school but I'd go to this practice space instead and I'd play until I was too tired to feel anything." He rubs his cheek against mine. "When she found out, she refused to let me take her to the hospital for her treatments until I got back in school. Refused to update me on how she was doing. Threatened to write specific instructions into her will to ban me from the funeral. She's always had a dark sense of humor."
"She didn't want to be a burden to you."
He nods. "Only time in my life I ever compromised was getting my GED to please her." He pulls me closer. "If the cancer's back, that's it. They don't have a way to treat it."
"That must be terrifying."
"Yeah."
"Can I come with you?" I ask. "When you see her?"
"I appreciate the thought, kid, but it's not a good idea."
"Why not?" I bite my lip. "I care about you. I want to be there for you."
Tom shakes his head. He pushes off the couch and plops in a seat by himself. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep."
He pulls a blanket to his chest and reclines his seat.
And that's it.
End of conversation.
