Page 366 of Rock Me All Night
"What the hell, kid?" He swats the camera away.
I snap another picture. He still looks sad.
Tom pushes the camera aside. He brings his hands to my shoulders, pushing my arms towards the ground. I let the camera fall into the soft grass.
He pulls my body onto his, but not to hold me. He wrestles me onto my back, keeps me pinned with his knees planted outside my thighs, his hands planted outside my shoulders.
We're lined up perfectly for some tighter version of missionary position. If only we weren't wearing all these clothes. And in a public place.
I sink into the damp grass. His body is hard, warm. Heavy in this delicious way.
"Not now." He shifts off me and plops back on his back. "If you pick up that camera again, I'm breaking it."
"You wouldn't do that."
"I'll buy you a better one. Guess I'm encouraging you to keep shooting pics by admitting that."
"Not if it's upsetting you." I stare at the sky. There are big, white clouds. One is rabbit-shaped. "If you ever want to talk or anything. I don't know a lot about relationships, don't have a lot of friends, but I can always listen."
"It's nothing."
"That's not true."
His voice drops. "Neither was what you said yesterday."
I swallow hard.
"I didn't call you on that bullshit about your ex. If you can't tell me the truth, why should I tell you shit?"
He's right. It's not personal. I don't tell anyone anything.
But that is personal, isn't it? I put Tom in that sameI can't trust youcategory as everyone else.
It's exhausting, never trusting anyone. I wiggle my fingers reaching for Tom's hand. But I can't find it.
He lets out a heavy sigh but says nothing. For minutes. When I can't take the silence or the wet grass on my back any longer, I get up and finish my grilled vegetable sandwich. I scrunch the wrapper into a tiny ball and toss it into our takeout bag.
There are a dozen other people in the garden, but there's no one within twenty feet of us.
A poster on stage announces a Shakespeare in the Park showing ofA Midsummer Night's Dreamin three weeks.
What was it Tom did yesterday, when I was obviously about to lose it? He changed the subject and filled me with caffeine. I haven't got any coffee, so I'll have to stick with the former.
I point at the poster. "You read any Shakespeare in school?"
"Didn't really do my assignments."
"Oh."
He shifts so we're eye to eye, a knowing look on his face. "You told me a secret yesterday. Part of one. I'll tell you a secret in exchange, but you have to promise not to tell a soul."
I make themy lips are sealedgesture.
"I would have failed out of school if I hadn't needed to maintain my GPA."
"Were you on the water polo team or something?"
"You enjoy thinking about me wet, huh?" He smiles, a hint of sadness falling off his face.
