Page 312 of Rock Me All Night
"Really? Really good and not like you were after Dad died?"
She frowns. Her posture stays the same. Shoulders back, head straight. Confident. "Your father was everything to me. There's always going to be something missing."
"I miss him too."
Mom pats my hand. "I don't know how I got so lucky to raise such a sweet daughter, but it wasn't okay what happened after your father died. You did more than your share."
That stiff feeling in my neck softens. "Thank you."
Mom takes a deep breath. "I'll never be the same person I was before Dad died, but I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, sweetie. I'm sure.
Deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I don't want to work at your company."
Mom is looking at me with confusion. She presses her hands into her cup and takes a sip. Her eyes go to her drink.
I exhale slowly. Band-Aid, off. The sting lessens. The tension in my back and shoulders lessens. The tightness in my chest lessens.
It's okay.
It's going to be okay.
"It's not because of you," I say. "It's just that I hate finance. I hate business. I hate that internship, and I know I shouldn't because it's such a great opportunity. But I hate it so much." I play with my jeans. "I got into UCLA's teaching program. To start in the fall."
"Sweetie, that's great."
"It is?"
"Of course." She presses her hands together. "What you love comes first."
"Really?"
"Really."
I relax into the couch. "I've been so worried you'd hate me for going against your plan."
"I wish you'd told me sooner. I would have taken the week off."
"It's okay. I have a lot of thinking to do."
"Something you want to talk about?"
This conversation is going okay. No reason why I can't continue that.
"It's this guy," I say. "Drew."
"That boy from down the street? His family must have moved in about ten years ago."
"Yeah. I'm in love with him."
"Let's talk about it."
We spend the whole night poring over all the messy details. In the end, I don't have the answers, but I feel better.
Like it's not so bad trusting someone.
