Page 311 of Rock Me All Night
35
Iwait on the couch, blanket up to my shoulders, eyes glued to the TV. Band-Aid number one still stings. I'm not so sure I'm ready for Band-Aid number two.
I flip through the channels unmoved. Eventually, I settle on aFriendsrerun. My phone buzzes with a text but I can't bring myself to look at it. What if it's Drew, telling me he doesn't love me, and that he'll never love me? I can only take that much rejection in one twenty-four hour period.
The next rerun isSeinfeld. ThenHow I Met Your Mother. The laugh tracks are more grating with every minute. Fuck it. I find something dark and depressing on a cable channel—an independent film about miserable people who hate each other.
That's better.
Twenty minutes later, keys jangle in the door. My mom steps inside with a smile. She looks good. Her hair is fixed. Her makeup is neat. Her clothes fit perfectly.
She's taking care of herself.
She's okay.
It's possible she can handle this news.
"Sweetie." Mom steps into the main room. "When did you get in?"
"A few hours ago."
"Did you eat dinner?"
"I had a snack. I'm not that hungry."
She checks the time on her watch. "Too late for a cup of tea?"
"That sounds great."
She retreats to the kitchen and fiddles with the kettle. My tech-savvy, business-running mother still hasn't adopted an electric kettle.
I study my mom's posture. She's standing up straight. Not hunched or curled into herself the way she sometimes is. There are no hints of pain or sadness on her face.
I sit at the coffee table and play with my hands. My phone buzzes. A text from Drew, no doubt, but I'm not ready to hear whatever it is he's saying. Not until I deal with this.
I shove my phone into my purse and drop it on the ground.
Mom brings out a pot of tea, two cups, and a little plate of cookies. Double chocolate chip. My favorite.
Only the smell of chocolate brings me right back to that day in the kitchen with Drew. To his hands, his lips, his—
Not the time. I shake off my lust and pour myself a cup of tea.
Mom smiles. "I'm so glad you're here. I missed you over New Year's."
"Me too."
She fixes her cup and takes a sip. A satisfied look spreads across her face. She's enjoying something.
Another good sign.
"How is work?" I take a sip.
"Busy. Always busy."
"And you're good?"
"Yeah, sweetie. I am."
