Page 310 of Rock Me All Night
Drew brushes his hands over my wrist, tracing the outline of my watch. "Guess it's your turn."
My gaze goes to the floor. I swallow the last drop of my drink. Okay. No more excuses.
I make eye contact with Drew. I open my mouth to speak, but my tongue is sticky. Words aren't cooperating with me.
His expression is utter fascination. No concern, no apprehension, no clue what I'm about to say.
It's like pulling off a Band-Aid. It only hurts for a minute.
"Are you in love with me?" I ask.
His jaw drops. Confusion forms in his eyes. "Fuck. Didn't think you'd start with that."
"You don't have to tattoo it on your body or something."
His eyes go to the ceiling. His lips rub together. "I'm not sure. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to feel like."
I shift to my feet. The door is that way. It's harder to ask him to leave than to storm off, but Drew knows when he really needs to back off.
I can do this.
I gaze into those deep, brown eyes. "Here's the thing, Drew. I've been running away from my feelings, but I can't anymore. I love you. I've loved you for a long time. I don't want to love you—you drive me out of my freaking mind—but I do. I love you like I love dancing, like I love chocolate, like I love breathing. Hell, I'd gladly give up breathing for you. I've already said 'fuck it' to sleeping and thinking and walking around with a settled stomach."
His expression is so damn intense. I have to look away to maintain my composure.
Like a Band-Aid.
It hurts for a minute and it's over.
Only this is going to hurt a lot longer than a minute.
"I love you too much to not be your everything."
"I do—"
I interrupt him. "I know you havefeelingsfor me. You've been my best friend for a long time, and for a long time that was enough. But not anymore. I need to know you love me enough to hire someone to write 'Drew and Kara forever' in the sky. That you love me enough to give up breathing."
His eyes are wide, like he's hanging on every word.
Almost done. The pain is almost over. "And if you're not sure yet, or you're not ready to deal with it yet, fine. But that means you need to leave, because I have things to do."
"Let me hold your hand while you tell your mom."
I shake my head. "That's a boyfriend task."
His eyes turn down. He frowns. "I do... I just haven't worked this out yet."
"And it's nice you want to, but it's a bunch of bullshit. You either love me or you don't. You either want me or you don't. There's no middle ground." I walk to the door. It takes all my strength, but I pull it open. "Think about it. Figure it out. I'll be at that show Wednesday. But that's all you get, Drew. After Wednesday, I'm done."
He's silent. Still. Staring at me like I'm from another planet.
Seems a lot like a no, but there's still a chance of a yes.
He runs his fingertips over my wrist. "Do me a favor."
"Yeah?"
"Come here." He brings his hand to my cheek and pulls me into a slow, deep kiss.
My heartbeat picks up. Drew releases me. His eyes find mine. There's something in them, something deep and powerful.
But he doesn't say anything.
I fight a sigh, but it still comes.
He stares at me for a moment. Then he makes his way to the street.
Then he's gone.
