Page 308 of Rock Me All Night
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Ispendthirty minutes in the shower with the water as loud, hot, and heavy as possible. My body is achy and exhausted.
After, I change into an outfit from my dresser and bury myself under the covers. Sleep doesn’t come. It’s late afternoon, still light out.
I go to the window to shut the blinds.
He’s still there, sitting on the stoop with slumped posture.
There goes any chance of slumber.
I make my way downstairs. I’m going to open the door and ask him to leave. I’m not going to give in to how badly I want to wipe the misery from his expression with my lips.
Here goes nothing.
I open the door. He stands, turns to me. He’s standing on the bottom step. For once, he’s shorter.
Drew looks up at me. “I’m not leaving until I talk to you.”
“What good could that possibly accomplish?”
“I…” He runs his hand through his hair. Shakes his head like he’s shaking away his thoughts. “Fine. Don’t talk to me. I’m a fucking asshole for bailing last night, and I know I can’t ever apologize enough. But I have to make sure you get through telling your mom okay.”
“I’ve got it under control.”
“Kara.”
I step back inside. I can’t be in here, not knowing he’s on the other side with that look of unspeakable agony on his face. I find my purse, sling it over my shoulder, and step onto the stoop.
He’s close enough that my body perks. It wants to feel good and it knows he can deliver. Not today, no matter how much better I’d feel if we were using our mouths for something besides conversation.
I lock the door and slide my key into my purse. I stare at him, at all the pain in his eyes. Is he really that desperate to talk to me? Do I really mean that much to him?
It’s hard to believe, given how quickly he ran away last night.
He stares back. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t feel that way about you. I panicked.”
“Go home, Drew. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk to you.” I push past him, onto the sidewalk, and I don’t look back.
* * *
Iwalkaround the neighborhood until I’m hungry enough for dinner. My phone buzzes a dozen times. I ignore it.
The sun sets with a streak of orange. The temperature cools. Clouds form, bringing that on and off drizzle I know all too well.
Figures the city waits until I’m wearing canvas sneakers and a cotton sweater to rain.
The rain isn’t too bad. By the time I’m at my block, I’m wet but not drenched.
Drew’s still here, sitting on the porch.
He’s soaking wet.
“You found a way to get your shower in.” I push past him to go for the door. “Congrats.”
He grabs my wrist. “Tell me how to make this up to you.”
“I’m done begging you to love me.” I unlock the door and push it open. “Go home.”
