Page 238 of Rock Me All Night
18
On the ride home, I play with the hem of my dress to keep my mind from spinning out of control.
Drew and I had sex.
And now we're going to do it again.
It's enough to make me dizzy.
He stops at a red light. His attention turns to me. His lips curl into a smile. He drags his fingertips over the inside of my knee and up my thigh.
And there it is: the only snag in such a perfect plan. I can't put it off anymore.
I have to tell him and pray he won't run away.
He's staring at me with that same penetrating look he always has. His eyes are wide, filled with this strange mix of enthusiasm and concern. Usually, that kind of concern makes me feel empty and exposed. On Drew, it's not so bad. It's almost sweet.
The light turns green and Drew hits the gas. My attention goes back to the road. His hand stays on my thigh. Close enough to my knee that I can delay this conversation until we're home.
* * *
Drew throwsopen the sliding door. Cold air rushes inside. It doesn't faze him at all.
He looks at me with wide-eyed enthusiasm. His voice is light. Teasing. "We still haven't gone skinny dipping."
"It's still freezing."
He pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it on the concrete. He raises a brow. "Don't you want to see me naked?"
My cheeks flush. I try to think of some excuse that isn'tI'm not ready to tell you about this yetbut nothing comes.
He takes a backward step, planting his foot on the concrete outside. His hands go to his jeans. Button, undone. Zipper, unzipped. The things fall to the floor.
Nothing but boxers.
Heat builds in my body, until the air doesn't feel cold anymore. Even my cocktail dress is far too much clothing. If I don't get in that pool, I'm going to catch fire.
It's glowing with an aqua sheen. The light dancing off Drew's torso is utterly gorgeous but it also means there's nowhere to hide.
Deep breath. Here goes nothing.
"Drew, I have to tell you something," I say.
He drops his playful expression. "Important?"
I nod. "I'm terrified you're going to run away."
"How could you think that?" Hurt flashes in his eyes. "You're my best friend."
"But that doesn't mean..." I bite my lip. "Can I get that promise in writing?"
His eyes pass over me. That same penetrating look. That same concern.
This might be the last time he ever looks at me as anything besides the pathetic, damaged girl.
My chest gets heavy. A deep breath does nothing to break it up. He's staring at me all curious and confused and there's nowhere to go.
I try to hold Drew's gaze but it's too intense. I look at the concrete instead. "I used to cut."
