Page 140 of Rock Me All Night
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Ispendthe weekend staring at my textbooks. I make a hundred flash cards and go through them a hundred times. I rewrite all my notes with my favorite purple pen.
I absorb nothing.
I try to sleep, but whenever I close my eyes, I see Miles. I see that look on his face, that desperation and pain that he's so sure he wants to handle alone. He lied a million times and he's still the only thing I can think about.
This is the end. Miles and I are over, forever, the end. Hell, we were never anything worth discussing. Not really.
It's better this way. He can go bullshit some other girl. I can focus all my attention on medical school. A guy would only get in the way.
Miles would only get in the way.
* * *
"Honey, you look like hell." Kara plops in the seat next to mine. "But you know I've got you covered."
She pulls a can of green tea out of her purse.
Sweet, sweet caffeine. Class is going to start in five minutes, and I need every ounce of attention I have for the lecture.
I press the can against my chest. The aluminum is so cold, and I've been hot all weekend. I don't know if it's anger, frustration, or the damn flu.
"I'm guessing your parents were difficult," she says.
"They put everything in Rosie's room in storage."
"That sucks."
"And her trophies. The family pictures. It's all gone. Everything. It's like being in some stranger's house with some stranger's parents." I pop open the can and take a greedy sip. I've learned plenty about caffeine—it takes twenty minutes to absorb into the bloodstream—but I feel like it's going straight to my brain. "Thanks. How was your weekend?"
"Saw my mom. Ate some food. Nothing worth discussing." A frown creeps onto her face.
There's something worth discussing. "We could talk about it anyway."
Kara turns to me. She's about to say something when Professor Rivers walks into the room. All chatter ceases.
She whispers, "I'd rather talk about you and Miles."
I nod to the professor.
Kara shakes her head. She opens her notebook and scribbles a message:Something happened, something bad. I can tell from the look on your face. You don't have to pretend you're fine. Whatever it was, you don't have to deal with it yourself. I want to help, even if that means watching Star Wars fifty times.
I nod and mouth thank you. Kara raises her eyebrows, a realtalk to me now dammitkind of look.
I motion to the professor.
"This is an elective for you," she says.
"And I need to maintain a good GPA."
"Your senior-year GPA won't factor into your med school apps."
"If I apply this year," I say.
"Since when are you even considering a gap year?"
The guy sitting next to me slaps my desk. He leans in towards Kara and me. "Could you two please shut up?"
