Page 61 of Covert
I wrap my hand gently around her neck. Her eyes widen and meet mine, but she doesn't flinch or fight or back away. I back her slowly to the wall. She lets out a tiny 'oof' when she makes contact with it, her mouth slightly parted, her eyes still wide.
"And what if I wanted to get back together with Britney?"
Her nostrils flare, and a muscle in her jaw ticks, but she looks away again. In my peripheral vision, I can see her fists clench. That's my girl. Fight me for what you want.
"What if I told her to come to the house tonight?" I squeeze my hand gently, bringing her eyes back to mine. "What if Axel and I wanted to tag team her while Beckett watched? Fuck her the way we fucked you the first night? What would you say to that?"
Sheexplodes.
"Fuck you, Maddox!" She pummels my arms with her fists, her legs kick out at me, but I cage her in so she can't get her knees up. "Fuck you and your bullshit what-ifs. Fuck you for making me feel my own goddamn feelings!"
"Nik?" Beckett's cautious voice calls from behind me. I have no doubt he'll knock me out to protect her. Axel, too. But I need this from her. I need her reaction, her fire, I need her to face the fact that she wants this.
A tear slides down her cheek, and my determination to push her fails. I kiss her cheek to stop the tear.
"I don't want her, baby. You know that. I couldn't get rid of her fast enough. I don't care if you're mad at me, be mad at me! I don't care if you're jealous, be jealous! Just don't shut down on us. Don't act like we mean nothing to you, baby. Please." I can hear the desperation in my voice, and I don't even care.
I have felt more for Nikki in the two months she's been with us than I have for all of my previous partners combined. She still talks about leaving, but less and less with each passing day. And I want her to stay. If forever looks like this with her, then that's what I fucking want. Forever.
I want to watch her and Beckett cook dinner, I want to hear her sweet voice every day at work, I want to hold her small body against mine and dream of a future together. Kids, a dog, a new house, I don't fucking care. Just as long as it's her.
She finally sags against me, looking up at me with a heartbreak that doesn't match a jealous lover. It's like she's already saying goodbye, and I can't fucking stand it. I slam my lips against hers, and in the next breath, she melts into me. Her hands thread through my hair, her tongue seeks out mine.
I pull back before we can get carried away, though. We are still at work, and I do still have a customer waiting for me.
I rest my forehead against hers.
"I'm yours, baby. In every way. Don't give up on us." I look at her pleadingly, and she gives me a tiny nod. I'm not satisfied with that, but it's all I'm going to get for now. I vow to get more out of her later.
She's not leaving us, no matter what she thinks.
Chapter thirty-five
Axel
Nikki's asleep, curled up on the couch, a jacket covering her like a blanket.
And I fucking hate it. My fists clench beside my thighs, and I struggle to smooth my breathing.
I had noticed her starting to leave things out around her bedroom. A sweater here, a hairbrush there, like she was finally comfortable enough to relax. She started to feel safe and had started to move in.
And then fucking Britney.
I get it. None of us has a perfect past. Nikki's certainly no virgin. But I don't understand what about Britney flirting with Maddox would have her back into fight or flight mode. She's sleeping on the goddamn couch, with her full backpack on the floor next to her head.
Goddamnit.
I don't get angry. I'm the flirty, fun one people can rely on not to take things too seriously. But watching Nikki's sleeping form on the fucking couch has me livid.
I want to take her backpack and pull out everything in it. I want to burn the backpack. I want to tie her to a bed so she can never leave us. I want to knock her up, so she'd neverthinkto leave us.
She even went so far as to lie with me for a while, and then excuse herself to go to the bathroom. When she didn't come back, I went looking for her.
Honestly, I'm offended she thinks I wouldn't notice. I'm offended she doesn't realize how much her presence means to me. That, what?I wouldn't notice she hadn't come back? I live and breathe by what that woman does.
She looks so small and uncomfortable on the couch, curled up under a jacket to try to keep warm.
Fuck this.
