Page 15 of Covert
"Hey, come, sit. I'll introduce you to the guys." Diesel motions to the crowd and guides me to a log with his hand on my lower back. We need to have a talk, but not with an audience. We sit on the log he just vacated, the redhead now occupying another, and he introduces us to Ghost, Grizzly, and Hawk. He conveniently does not introduce any of the women draped over the guys.
"And you are?" the redhead pipes up, taking a sip from her red solo cup and not hiding her distaste at my presence at all. She clearly has a thing for Diesel, and now I regret coming even more. I look her in the eye and pray she can see my sincerity.
"Not a threat."
She huffs her disbelief.
"Hey Candy, why don't you get us some more cups so we can break open the whiskey Nikki brought us?"
"Leana," I correct.
"Leana," he repeats. Leana sits next to me and immediately starts a conversation with Hawk, essentially leaving me for Diesel.
"I'm so glad you came," Diesel whispers, his fingers toying with my skirt. I want to like him. I do like him. He's handsome and sweet. But this can't go anywhere. But for a moment, I'm tempted to give in to the fantasy. Maybe for one night, I can forget who I am and why this is a bad idea.
"I told you I would."
"Yeah, but this..." he waves a hand at the already rambunctious party. "...can be a lot."
Candy comes back quickly, and Diesel fills our red solo cups. I decline one. "I don't drink," I say in explanation. Candy's heavilymade-up eyes roll in annoyance. But Diesel takes a cup and fills it with the cheap whiskey he likes.
"You dressed up for me," he's inched even closer to me on the log. He’s talking quietly against my ear, as if we're not surrounded by a party. Loud music plays from the speaker; there's laughter and loud talking. Ghost and Hawk are currently arm-wrestling while the others cheer and place bets.
"I didn't think it was a good idea to go to an MC dressed like library Barbie."
Diesel laughs, and the sound is rich and deep, and I love it.
"No. Probably not a good idea.
The look of concern on Diesel's face doesn't ease. "Those guys. They're treating you right?"
I shrug. "They're fine. They're not mean, if that's what you're worried about."
He nods thoughtfully, thankfully accepting my answer. How would I describe the way Maddox sets my blood on fire, or the longing, lingering gazes from Beckett, or how Axel's mere presence makes my heart race and my nipples hard?
"Are they..." he hesitates, and I can't begin to guess what he's trying to ask. He takes another swig of whiskey, as if he needs the courage. "Have they been trying to get down your pants? Maddox seemed awfully protective of you."
"Maddox?" Did he say something when he did Diesel's tattoo? He doesn't seem the least bit interested in me. But then I see my opening to have the talk.
"I don't date," I blurt out, and then wince. Because he wasn't talking about dating, he was talking about sex. I shake my head, embarrassment creeping up my neck.
"I... I don't do long-term... and I don't think it would be a good thing to have a one-night stand with my bosses. I need that job." I'm flummoxed, and I'm sure I'm not setting boundaries well. I wish I did drink so I could dull some of my nerves.
He scoots closer to me so that our knees are touching. A warm feeling works its way through my body. This is the attention I wanted. I've spent my entire life avoiding people, trying not to be noticed, but to have a handsome biker's full attention? Shit, if the woman in me doesn't preen. I want to flirt a little, to feel like a girl again.
I never got the chance to explore this side of me. I've had sex, but it's always been extremely casual one-night stands. I went from living in hell to barely surviving. I've never been in a place where I could just be a girl or a woman. To flirt, and dress up, and vie for a man's attention.
I don't retreat, and he seems to notice. I slide my hand closer to his on the log until our pinkies touch. I think he stops breathing. I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to return his advances.
"I don't have much. I've just been patched in. But I could take care of you. If they're not good to you, I mean."
I groan and close my eyes.
"Too soon?"
"No. I just don't know why you're being so sweet. No one has ever offered to take care of me." I open my eyes to look into his soft blue ones. I place my hand on his jean-clad thigh. "Thank you, Diesel.That's an incredibly sweet thought, but I'm fine. They're not bad to me."
Diesel looks down at where my hand rests on his leg. Before I can remove it, he covers my hand with his, lacing his fingers between mine. My heart clenches painfully. I've never held a boy's hand before. I do one-night-stands and nameless sex with someone I carefully pick out at a bar, but it's never sweet or thoughtful. I pinch back tears.
