Page 72 of Covert
I can't lie to her, so I soften the truth. "Beckett's looking for you, the best way he knows how. And Axel... Axel is doing a crazy investigation into your family." She nods, thinking.
"That's good... that may be helpful." She presses her hands into my shoulder and steps off me.
"Baby, I loved that you were here. I loved seeing you, but you can't return. If my father even gets a suspicion that I love you guys, it'll be over. He'll put hits out on you," she says, so casually, while she adjusts her clothes.
I wrap my hand around her wrist and tug her to me again.
Emotion clogs my throat as my mind spins with everything I need to tell her; everything I need to hear from her. She looks down sadly at me, knowing exactly what I need. Her hand comes to rest against my cheek.
"I will make it back to you. I just need you to be patient. Give me a few more months."
I turn and press a kiss to her palm. Everything in me is demanding that I rage; that I burn the city down in order to get to her. But I push that need down. What I really need is to trust her. Trust that she's smart, capable, and working hard to find her way back to us.
"I love you." My voice cracks.
She brings her forehead to mine. "I love you, too. Tell them that? Tell the boys that I love them. And that I'm coming back. I'm coming home."
I swipe at the tear that threatens to fall as I watch her walk out of the room, and away from me.
Chapter forty-four
Diesel
Ipull into the compound after another day of searching. Scar's been letting me off of club business because he knows my head's just not in the game. I'd be more of a liability than an asset right now with Nikki missing, and he knows it.
In the club parking lot, though, is a large flatbed truck with a cabin on the back of it.
I kill the engine, kick out my kickstand, and remove my helmet, running my hand through my sweaty, messy hair.
Scar's talking to the driver and pointing down the gravel road towards the cabins we already have.
"What's this?" I ask Scar. New recruits? Just expanding living space?
He turns and rests a heavy hand on one of my shoulders. "This is your girl."
"Nik? You've talked to her? What does that mean? Why does she need a cabin?"
He shakes his head at my rambling. "I haven't talked to her. The driver just gave me a message from her. Said that she'll be sending us some kids and women in need of a home and protection, and asked that we give it to them."
I shake my head, my disbelief palpable. What the fuck has she gotten herself into? Why is she sending us displaced women and kids? An MC compound wasn't the place for families. It's parties and drugs and fucking.
"She also says she's going to try to see you soon."
I shove both hands back in my hair, fisting the strands until my scalp stings.
"What the fuck does that mean!?"
He gives me a little shake. "Just trust her, won't you. She told you she didn't get to keep you, and you didn't believe her. She told you the people after her were bad, and you didn't believe her. Maybe it's time you have a little faith in your woman."
Fuck if that isn't a kick in the teeth. He's absolutely right. I was so convinced that I could take care of her and that we could have a future together, when she was telling me all along how impossible it was. And I refused to listen.
I sigh, shoulders heavy with regret and surrender.
"Okay."
Later that night, I'm tossing and turning under my one thin sheet. I've slept like shit since she left. I can still smell her on my sheets, and it drives me insane, but I take the punishment because I deserve it. I didn't keep her safe. I was out of town doing a run for the club when she was taken. The guys explained it all to me. How it all went down, and I know logically there was nothing I could do, but the guilt and regret are constant companions.
My walkie-talkie crackles from my nightstand, and I groan. I check my phone. It's two am.
