Page 22 of The Dating Coach
"It's the internalized bullshit," Karen added. "Society spends so long telling us we're wrong that even when we know we're not, part of us wonders. I still sometimes catch myself cracking jokes when things get too real, just to keep people from seeing how messed up I actually feel inside."
I stared at Karen. "You do that on purpose?"
"Comedy as armor, baby," she said with a theatrical flourish that proved her point. "Thought you knew. I literally deflect every serious conversation with a punchline."
"I thought you were just naturally funny," I admitted, feeling stupid for missing something so obvious about my best friend.
"Oh, I am hilarious. But it's also my defense mechanism." She studied me with those too-perceptive eyes, her usual grin softening. "What about you, Gem? Any shocking revelations for cave time?"
My heart hammered against my ribs.
"I..." I started, then stopped. Tried again. "I put too much pressure on myself. To be perfect, to save everyone, to have all the answers. I'm terrified that if I'm not useful, if I'm not actively fixing things, people will realize I'm not worth keeping around."
It wasn't the confession Karen had been fishing for—that I was bi—but it was still true, still vulnerable. Liam's hand found mine in the dim light, squeezing gently.
"You're worth everything," he said quietly, and the certainty in his voice made my eyes burn. "Not for what you do, just for who you are."
"Careful, Delacroix," I managed through the tightness in my throat. "That almost sounds like feelings."
"Speaking of feelings," Henry interrupted, clearly trying to lighten the mood, "my confession is that I can't actually see the scoreboard during games. My contact prescription is two years out of date, but I'm too stubborn to admit I need new ones."
"That explains so much," Liam said. "Like why you keep passing to the ref."
"I thought he was Frank!"
The laughter that followed eased the tension, everyone sharing increasingly ridiculous confessions. Karen admitted to writing fanfiction about her math professor ("He has salt-and-pepper hair, don't judge me!"), Henry revealed his secret addiction to reality dating shows, and we discovered Frank hadbeen running an underground collectible card trading ring since freshman year.
When it came to Liam's turn, he was quiet for a long moment. The rain had softened to a steady patter, creating a cocoon of sound around us.
"I've never felt like my own person," he said finally. "Always Victor Delacroix's son, always the future NHL star, always what everyone expected me to be. The architecture stuff, the dreams about building things that matter – that's the only part of my life that feels real. Everything else is just... performance."
"Including hockey?" Mia asked quietly.
"Especially hockey." He laughed, but it sounded hollow. "Don't get me wrong, I love the game. But playing professionally, dedicating my entire life to it, living in the spotlight – that's my father's dream, not mine. I've just been too much of a coward to say it out loud."
"You're saying it in front of all of us," I pointed out. "That's brave."
"In a cave in the middle of nowhere," Liam countered. "Where it doesn't count."
"Everything counts," I said fiercely. "Every time you speak your truth, even if it's just to yourself, it matters."
He looked at me then, something soft and wondering in his eyes that made my breath catch. The space between us felt charged, full of unspoken things that had nothing to do with our arrangement and everything to do with the way my heart raced when he smiled.
"The rain's stopping," Henry announced, breaking the spell. "We should probably try to find our way back before it starts again."
"I have signal!" Mia held up her phone triumphantly. "Barely, but enough for GPS. We're... oh. We're like half a mile from the cabin."
"Half a mile?" Karen stared at her. "We've been wandering in circles this whole time?"
"In my defense," Frank said, "all trees look the same when you're panicking."
The walk back was soggy but filled with the kind of giddy energy that comes from shared adventure. Our clothes were ruined, we were covered in mud, and Karen's hair had indeed taken on a poodle-like quality, but everyone was laughing.
As we reached the cabin, Liam fell into step beside me. "Thank you," he said quietly. "For what you said in there. About speaking truth mattering."
"I meant it," I said. "You deserve to chase your own dreams, not live someone else's."
"So do you," he countered. "You know that, right? You don't have to be perfect or save everyone. You're allowed to just... be."
