Page 30 of The Dating Coach
"Wasn't it?" She finally got her skates off, movements sharp with agitation. "He's not wrong. I do have trust issues. I do push people away. I did accuse him of cheating."
"Was he?"
She paused. "I don't know. Maybe. There were signs, but..." She shrugged. "Maybe I was just looking for reasonsto leave before he could leave me. It's what I do, right? Self-sabotage?"
"Gemma." I waited until she looked at me. "Having boundaries isn't self-sabotage. Protecting yourself isn't pushing people away. And trusting your instincts about someone isn't paranoia."
"You're just saying that because—"
"Because I think you're incredible? Because watching that asshole try to make you feel small made me want to throw him into a snowbank?" I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. "Yeah, I'm biased. Doesn't make it less true."
She stared at me for a long moment, something vulnerable and wondering in her expression. "You defended me."
"Of course I did."
"No, you don't understand." She shook her head. "Devon spent our entire relationship making me feel like I was too much. Too intense, too suspicious, too damaged. And I believed him. Part of me still does. But you..." Her voice caught. "You stood there and told him I was worth it. Like you actually believed it."
"I do believe it," I said simply. "Every word."
She kissed me then, right there at the skate rental counter with the bored attendant watching and our friends probably taking pictures. It wasn't gentle – it was fierce and grateful and a little desperate, like she was trying to communicate something words couldn't capture.
When we broke apart, both breathing hard, she rested her forehead against mine. "This thing between us terrifies me."
"I know," I murmured. "Me too."
"I'm probably going to screw it up. Push you away. Get scared and run."
"Maybe," I agreed. "Or maybe you won't. Maybe this time is different."
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Then we’ll figure it out,” I said, stealing another kiss before our friends inevitably interrupted.
Sure enough, Frank's voice carried across the rink. "If you two are done making out, Henry bought everyone hot chocolate and I'm about to drink Gemma's!"
"Don't you dare!" Gemma called back, but she was laughing.
We rejoined the group, accepting hot chocolate and good-natured teasing with equal grace. But something had shifted between us, solidified in the face of Devon's attempted destruction. She didn't pull away when I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, didn't tense when I slipped my hand into hers.
Later, as we watched Frank attempt to teach Mia to skate while Henry provided commentary, Gemma leaned into me. "Thank you," she whispered. "For what you said. For seeing me."
"Always," I whispered back, meaning it completely.
The night ended with Frank challenging me to a speed skating race in rental skates, which ended exactly as badly as expected.
Chapter 15: Gemma
The chlorine stung my nostrils as I stood behind the starting blocks, trying to shake off the knowledge that Liam might be somewhere in the crowded stands. I hadn't invited him to the swim meet against State – hadn't invited anyone except Karen, who was obligated as my roommate to show up and cheer obnoxiously. But after the Winter Formal incident and the way he’d defended me against Devon, I couldn’t stop scanning the crowd.
"Spears! Head in the game!" Coach Martinez barked from the pool deck. "You're up in two heats!"
I nodded, forcing myself to focus. This was the 200-meter butterfly, my signature event. I'd held the conference record for two years running. I could do this in my sleep, except I'd barely slept last night, too wired with thoughts of Liam.
"You're being weird," Karen observed from where she stood holding my towel. "Weirder than usual pre-race weird. This is advanced weird."
"I'm fine," I lied, adjusting my cap for the fifth time.
"Sure you are. That's why you've checked the stands approximately forty-seven times in the last ten minutes." She followed my gaze. "Looking for anyone in particular? Perhaps a certain hockey player with excellent cheekbones?"
