Page 30 of Going Rogue
How the hell could I have slept through herleaving?
When he’d dressed, he crashed through the tent flap with the force of a raging bull, yelling her name repeatedly, “ROGUE! ROGUE!”
The sun glared so bright it nearly blinded him, and he didn’t see her blonde hair anywhere. Children eating in front of one of the tents scattered inside as he ran through the camp like a maniac.
Where the fuck is she?
“ROGUE!” he shouted again as he shielded his eyes and turned a circle in the center of the tents. Light glinted off metal, and he tamped down the panic to pay more attention. A truck. Looking much like the one they’d attempted to drive off the militant’s compound. The roar of the engine starting had woken him, and there, standing next to it, was a woman in a tactical vest.
His breathing slowed to a regular, if rapid, rhythm as he jogged over to her.
“Didn’t you hear me calling you?” Crane resisted the urge to reach for her. To hold her and prove to himself she wasn’t a mirage.
“What? No. Not over this noise.” Shethrew a hand toward the truck’s engine, and he had to admit, it did sound unusually loud in the emptiness of the desert. But it didn’t make him any less angry that she’d left without waking him. It mixed with the fear swilling around in his stomach, churning it into a nasty combination, making his next question much less calm.
“Why the fuck didn’t you wake me?” he growled as his chest heaved. The Bedouin man and woman standing at the truck with Rogue moved several steps away at the aggressive signals his body sent; he had little care in his current state to worry about scaring them.
His tone had her whirling on him.Good.At least now he had her full attention. He was so fucking mad at the fear she’d caused him that he had an urge to bend her over his knee.
“Why does it matter?” The confusion on her face only made everything he felt worse.
She doesn’t understand.
Her not knowing how he felt about her sliced at his heart. He squeezed the back of his neck with both hands and shook hishead. For that, he only had himself to blame.
She’d already wounded him. It seemed only fair to tell her why.
“Because you have my heart, Rogan. I couldn’t—” When his voice cracked, he scrubbed his hands down his face and met her wide eyes. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you.”
“No, no, no, no.” The muttered words fell like bombs from her lips. She shook her head when he gripped her shoulders, forcing her gaze to meet his. Panic swam in those intoxicating orbs. “I don’t want it.”
Another knife to his chest. He’d known she wasn’t ready, but he hadn’t realized her rejection would hurt so much. Dropping his hands with a sigh, which only hinted at his suffering, he told her, “But you have it anyway.”
Her dark eyes snapped at him, then frosted over with an icy glare. “That’s not fair. I didn’t ask for it.”
Fresh hurt ignited his anger, and he couldn’t stop the outburst. “It’s not a damn burden, Rogue!” He shook his head and then took a deep breath. “It’s a gift.”How couldshe not see that?Crane’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he tried for calm. “And I’m not asking you for anything in return. I’m just telling you how I feel.”
She moved further away from him as if afraid he’d try to touch her again. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
His heart lay bleeding in the dust, and she’d kicked a layer of sand over it.
Gritting his teeth, he forced out, “Fine.”
“Fine.” She turned and watched him from the corner of her eye as she pointed to the truck. “This is our ticket out of here.”
And just like that, Rogue was back to the business at hand.
Well, if she could put it aside, he would too. With a strength he’d never had to call on, Crane pushed everything he was feeling into a Pelican case and locked it shut. Time to focus on his primary mission—getting her home safe.
“Great.” His voice lacked enthusiasm, but having transportation other than their feetwasgood. It would be risky to stay in the camp any longer with the militants still hunting them.
She gestured to the Bedouins, who waited over ten feet away. “They rented it to bring vessels of water out here from a nearby town. I’ve been trying to strike a deal for us to borrow it, but you’ll probably have better luck.” Her lips twisted as she nodded toward the man he’d pegged as the leader last night. “He’d rather discuss it withmy husbandanyway.”
Husband.
The word bounced off the case he’d built around his emotions. The wish that the word could be real didn’t have a chance at penetrating the indestructible material. Plus, the case was already too full. He certainly didn’t have any room left to care about her indignation over not being treated equally because she was a woman. Bedouin culture hadn’t changed for thousands of years. And he didn’t expect it to happen overnight.
Without looking at her, he managed to muster another, “Fine,” before he went to secure their ride out of the camp. But as he walked away, the case securing his feelings cracked. Despite Rogue’s rejection, hope still fought against the hurt she’d dealt him. Time might change her mind, so he’d give it to her.
