Page 87 of Nave
“Now go shower and get yourself an all-night love session.”
With that, she got to her feet and started digging up the old, spent zucchini plants to make room for cold weather crops.
I started back to the motorhome, glancing back to make sure Edith wasn’t looking for me.
She didn’t even know I was gone.
I stripped, showered, shaved, and slathered on the lotion Ariah made for me, then gathered a few things, and made my way to the car.
My belly was doing little flips as I drove down the driveway, pausing to pull on my sunglasses and hat, before turning onto the main road.
I was sure at any moment, red and blue lights would flash, a siren would ring out, and I would be hauled off to jail for driving without a license and having a fake ID.
My palms grew sweaty at just the possibility.
But by the time I turned onto the main street in town, I hadn’t seen a single cop or trooper around.
Being the middle of the day, several bikes were still neatly lined up outside. The vampires weren’t awake yet, it seemed.
Even as I thought it, though, the most vampiric of them all—the tall, dark-haired Spike—made his way out from the side of the building, a hose in his hand.
“Hey, baby,” he called, waving a hand at me.
“Hey, Spike,” I said, approaching.
“You looking for Nave?”
“Yeah.”
“He ran out a little bit ago. But he’s never gone for long. Hang out,” he said, waving toward the clubhouse.
“I think I will,” I agreed, tamping down the urge to run.
These were his people. This was his place. I needed to feel comfortable in and around everyone without Nave as the buffer.
It was moments like this, as my belly wobbled when I entered the clubhouse without an explicit invitation from Nave, that I was reminded of what a different life I’d led for so long.
Maybe, had I never been locked up in the woods with a man bent on controlling everything about me, I would have naturally built a comfort around other people, would feel confident when it came to social interactions with acquaintances and strangers.
But I’d been tucked away from the world. I hadn’t spoken to another human being other than Ben for years.
Even my television was heavily controlled. I got to watch history documentaries and other educational programming. It seemed like a non-problem compared to everything else.
That said, now that I was looking back at it, I was seeing how insidious it was, how it was just another way he removed me from society. I couldn’t even watch people interact for entertainment. I wasn’t given the chance to fantasize about healthy, happy relationships with friends or lovers.
I was as isolated as a human being could be.
And, as I was sure was Ben’s intention, I eventually stopped thinking about things like friends, like life with a kind, supportive, and loving partner.
That was how you kept something captive: you killed its hope of having any other life.
I shuddered to imagine how long I might have stayed with Ben had I not gotten pregnant.
Would my whole life have passed me by?
At what point would Ben no longer want me?
What would happen to me then?
