Page 4 of Nave
I tried rectangular breathing. I tried grounding myself by counting five things I could see, hear, smell, and touch. I tried listing all the ways I’d done this perfectly right.
But still, the uncertainty was as clinging as glitter.
It wasn’t long before the general worries gave way to the what-ifs.
What if he wasn’t in town?
What if I couldn’t find him?
What if he didn’t want to see me?
What if he wouldn’t help me?
It had been years, and I was still hanging all my hopes on the fact that he would remember his offer to help me.
Would he still recall that long-ago promise?
Would he even remember me at all?
A guy like that had to catch the eye of a thousand women a year. More. What were the chances that he would remember some random woman he’d hardly even spoken to, let alone kissed or touched or anything that might anchor a memory?
“Stop,” I mumbled to myself.
It wasn’t going to do any good to borrow concerns from tomorrow. Lord knew I had enough of them to keep me company right then.
Reaching back, careful not to disturb Edith, I rummaged in my bag for the bottle. It jingled as I pulled it forward, twisting off the top, and taking one of the pills out. I tried not to gag over the scent of it as I reached for my watery soda.
Then I tossed the pill in my mouth and guzzled the coffee until I was sure it was down there and the taste was off my tongue.
There.
That was one thing off my list.
One less thing to worry about.
Though it created its own new one too. The nausea that was going to plague me for at least half a day.
Oh well.
It had to be done.
Outside, the storm raged. Brilliant flashes of lightning and massive roars of thunder. Rain that seemed like it was trying to wash the world of its sins, it was coming down so hard.
I watched as a whole town went dark after a particularly bright bolt of lightning. Heard the trill of police sirens that said someone likely hit a tree or pole.
A hotel or motel was the kind of place you wanted to be in a storm like this. Somewhere safe. With plumbing that took the brunt of the lightning, if it came that close, so your body didn’t become the conductor.
But hotels and motels were their own kind of dangerous now.
God, the whole modern world was.
But I would figure it out.
I would.
Ihadto.
I reached to turn the car off, not wanting the puffs of smoke from the engine to draw the attention of cops. The absolute last thing I needed was the government to have my whereabouts. It was all as good as over then.
