Page 116 of Nave
So far, I’d literally only left her when she was in her crib to sleep. Or when I was showering. I took her everywhere else: on walks with Edith and Blanche, to the store, visiting with our friends and family, everywhere.
He was right, though: we needed this.
We were loving being parents.
But we also needed to make time to be a couple. Especially because we had so little time together before the baby came.
We needed to foster us and our connection.
“If you want to go right home after dinner, we can.”
“Let’s see how it goes,” I said. I mean, I had shoved my feet into heels and bought a new dress that I felt confident in that gave my postpartum body a little grace.
By the time we were in the middle of dinner, Gracie had sent no fewer than six texts to ease my nerves about being away.
By dessert, the reassurance, good food, and company had me relaxing into my seat.
Nave had been right when he’d suggested the date. We needed this.Ineeded it.
I loved being a mom. I adored being home with just our little family.
That said, there was no denying that the sleep deprivation, the crushing anxiety about needing to do every little caretaking task perfectly, and my own recovering body had me walking around with my shoulders up by my ears, had my fight-or-flight on edge.
“You seem more relaxed,” Nave said, his hand at my lower back as we left Famiglia to walk down the dock.
The air was warming up again.
Summer was just around the corner.
Which meant we were closing in on the one-year anniversary of me coming to Navesink Bank.
I’d come here thinking this would be a stepping stone to my future, having no idea how it would become my whole life. How I would not only find the safety I was seeking, but roots and wings, friends, family, love.
“I don’t think I realized how tense I was,” I admitted.
“Been in the trenches, babe,” he said, shrugging it off.
Nave had been an amazing partner. By the time I heard the baby crying, he was almost always already in the nursery trying to soothe her or change her.
At the end of the day, feedings were almost always on me. Sure, I’d made sure there was milk in the fridge and freezer incase the baby needed to eat when I was showering or something, but she preferred to nurse, so I was the one who needed to be there for her every two hours or so. No matter how tired or sore I was.
“How do you think—” I started, unable to help myself. The baby would be due for a feeding right about then.
Right on cue, though, my phone buzzed.
I reached for it, finding Gracie’s name on the screen. In the text, I found two images: an empty bottle and a baby in a milk coma.
“Seriously, she is insane,” I said, showing Nave the pictures.
“I know.”
“She’s going to be an amazing mom one day.”
“And until then, we will be taking advantage of her skills to get some more alone time,” I decided, sliding my hands up his stomach, chest, then wrapping them around the back of his neck, pressing our bodies close.
“I like that idea,” Nave said, arms wrapping me up. “I love us three. But I still love us two, too.”
“Me too,” I agreed, ready to go up on my tiptoes to kiss him.
