Page 35 of Baby for the Professor
I smiled. "Let's go to the beach, then."
I took Aiden to the beach closest to our house. We rode the bike first, and then I picked a spot for us to rest.
It was the weekend, so the beach was crowded. Groups of young people and families scattered on the sand, making it look like a penguin colony. I spread a towel on the sand and we sat down. We played a board game and then I let Aiden read a picture book by himself while I read my paperback romance.
I was flipping through the pages when I noticed my son's attention wasn't on his book but on a family of three walking by. The father was giving the daughter a piggyback ride.
Shit. I felt like crap. Why did I make things so complicated? Why couldn't I let Aiden see his dad whenever he wanted?
I closed the book I was reading. "You know what, Aiden?" I said. "Let's go get something to eat. What do you want?"
That worked. Aiden grinned. "I want ice cream."
I pressed my lips together. "Why don't we have some pizza first, and then ice cream?"
"Okay."
I packed our things into my carryall, and then asked him. "Are you tired? Mommy can hold you if you want."
"Really?" he grinned.
"Yes," I lifted him up and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry you don't get to see Daddy as much as you want. But Mommy will talk to Daddy about it. Maybe you will spend more time with him the next time he sees you. Okay?"
"Okay Mommy," Aiden nodded with a smile. "Can we all spend time together? Mommy, Daddy, and Aiden?"
Gosh. The kid knew how to bargain. I chuckled. "I don't know. I'll ask Daddy."
When we returned home, it was early evening. We video-called my parents and listened to them telling us about the trip. And then I watched a kids' program on TV with Aiden before helping him shower and then bed.
“Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?” he asked when I was making the bed for him.
“Of course,” I said. I couldn’t sleep well when he was next to me, but since it was a Saturday, I didn’t mind losing some sleep so much.
Propping us up with some high pillows, I held Aiden while reading a story to him. After he fell asleep, I watched him without a stir for a long time. I thought about my promise to the child and felt ambivalent again. I was afraid my son would become too attached to Jackson. Despite the man's promise and my weeks’ observation, I still didn't know him enough to trust him. Besides, he said he didn't like to settle down in one place and preferred teaching at different universities. I doubted he would commit to his role of being a father. He was infatuated with Aiden right now, but it could be just curiosity. He might get tired of his responsibility soon. And what if he found a teaching job in a different state? I hated seeing the child being disappointed.
Unable to fight my sleepiness any longer, I sighed and turned off the lamp. Perhaps I should give Jackson a chance. Maybe everything would turn out to be fine. I let the optimism convince me and drifted to sleep, only to be woken by Aiden's groan. "Mommy."
"What's wrong, baby?" I asked, alert right away.
"My tummy doesn't feel good, Mommy."
"Oh no." I turned the light back on and took him to the bathroom.
Aiden threw up first, and then he spent the next fifteen minutes groaning with pain while sitting on the toilet.
My heart clenched at the sight and I blamed my negligence. The boy must've over-eaten at dinner. He had a big slice of pizza, a small salad, and a large ice cream cone right after.
After his pain subsided somewhat, I gave him some children’s Mylicon tummy relief liquid, and then we returned to bed.
We only lay down for a minute before we rushed back to the bathroom. And this time, to my horror, I saw blood in the toilet.
I freaked out. OMG. This wasn't simple indigestion. He must've gotten some bugs. I had to take him to the ER. It was midnight, but I put on clothes for both of us, and grabbed my phone and car key.
I turned on the ignition but it wouldn't start. Shit. Why? Then I remembered the battery was old and I had seen signs of the problem weeks ago but I had postponed going to the auto shop. I banged my head on the steering wheel. Idiot!
"Are you okay, Mommy?" Aiden asked in the back.
"Yes, honey. Mommy's fine." I tried again and again, and then I gave up.
