Page 33 of Drawn to You
I always congratulate him when he mentions his family but never envy him—until now. I’ve always been proud of what I have, namely, a successful business. But at the moment, I’m not sure about it anymore. What do I need a business for, if not to provide for a woman I love and our children? Do I go through all the trouble and stress every day just to be a happy bachelor? Damn. Why are some men so lucky? Jerry might not have been the most popular guy in high school, but he found the one woman he wanted. I, on the other hand, have had my share of women, but I can’t even have the one I truly love…
Wait a minute. Am I crazy? I’m not in love, and I’m not ready for a family. I’m still establishing my business. I remind myself. What I have for Brittney is lust, not love. It’s how I’ve felt about every woman, right? Shit. I don’t know. I only know I want her in my house even if I can’t touch her, and my craving for her can’t be substituted by fucking another woman. My heart squeezes every time I picture her being alone in a dreary apartment in a crime-ridden area. I know where Darrell lives and I’ve dropped him off after work once. It isn’t a slum, but not much better. It’s just not a place for Britt.
Driven by an impulse, I take out my cellphone and send her a text.Would you like to come over to have dinner before you go to your apartment?
I have no idea what good a dinner would do. She would still leave me after that, but maybe I could convince her to stay the night too.
A minute later, she replies.Thanks but no, I need to set things up.
I want to offer to help, but then I did it last night and before I left the gym, and she refused both times. I sigh, pay for my tab, and leave the bar.
On my way home, the traffic on the road distracts me somewhat, and I concentrate on the road. But a familiar tune brings me back to my nostalgic mood right away.
“Now, here you go again, you say, you want your freedom…” shit, just the right song to mock me at the right moment. I reach to switch channels but sigh and stop. I love the melody and Stevie Nicks’ voice. So I let the torture go on. “But listen carefully, to the sound of your loneliness… And what you lost, and what you had.”
Once I get home, I fix myself a simple dinner, although I hardly have any appetite. As soon as I sit down at the dinner table, I remember Brittney’s delightful face when we had dinner together in the past few days. She seemed to love everything I made for her, from salad to pasta. And she didn’t compliment my cooking skill just out of politeness. She ate all the food on her plate each time, didn’t she?
After dinner, I watch TV for a few minutes and again remember the nights we spent on the couch watching Netflix. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m used to living by myself. I’ve had plenty of women since high school. I enjoyed their company when I was with them, and I never missed them when they left. I was worried that Brittney would be a clinger because it was her first time. But I was ready to stick with her for a while until she found out I wasn’t her Prince Charming. But damn. She completely took me by surprise.
I glance at the clock. It’s eight and Brittney should be home by now. I should give her a call to see how she’s doing, but I don’t trust myself. I might end up begging her to move back, and that’s not something I would do. I’ve never asked a woman to remain in a relationship with me. It’s normally the opposite. I remind myself, turn off the TV, and go out to the yard.
I jump into the hot tub and let out a satisfying sigh. The night is so quiet I notice I’ve got tree crickets somewhere in my garden. The chirps are so soothing I soon feel better.They say women, they will come and they will go.I whistle the tune and close my eyes.
But as soon as I do that, I recall the night when I came home finding Brittney in my tub, in her cute, sexy bikini, shaking her butt under the water. Every single detail emerges in my mind, including the ecstatic look on her face when she came under my touch. Fuck. I miss her—both my cock and my heart do. Keeping her in my head, I take care of it easily with just a few strokes. But it doesn’t ease the ache in my heart.
Dammit. I want that sassy girl in my house, on my side every night. Christ. I’m out of my mind. I can’t have such feelings for a girl I fucked only twice, even though I’ve known her forever. This isn’t normal. I’m probably just pining for things I can’t have. If I had asked Brittney to stay, she would’ve agreed. But then again, it wouldn’t last between us. Although I wish I could have what Jerry has, I’m not a family man like him. What if I’m unable to commit to Britt? What if one day we both realize we made a mistake? Then I would hurt her more. I was willing to give us a chance to see whether it would work between us, but she just gave me zero options. Damn. The whimsical girl drives me so mad, yet instead of trying to forget her, I’m possessed by the desire to own her, so she’ll do what I demand her to. I should drive over to her apartment now, and haul her over to my place, spank her and lock her up until she begs for forgiveness.
My phone rings just as I’m on the verge of losing my sanity. It’s Connor who’s supposed to be in New York for Fashion Week. “Hey bro, where are you?” I answer it right away, dying to hear another human’s voice.
“Not much,” he answers in a hoarse voice. “I’m still in New York. Flying back tomorrow.”
“Great,” I say, wondering why he’s up so late. It must be past midnight on the East Coast. Connor is health-conscious because his looks and body shape are his assets. “Why’re you still up?”
He sighs faintly on the other end of the phone. “Helen insisted on going to a client’s birthday party.”
“Did you have a good time?”
“It was okay. But I heard some weird rumor at the party, and I want to ask you whether it’s true. Are you and Melissa Rey engaged?”
“Engaged? What the hell are you talking about? I’ve only slept with her once, and it was two years ago when we first met.”
“That’s what I thought. But she was quoted saying that in an interview with Star.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am. Check it out yourself. There’s a link to the article on her Facebook page.”
“I’ll do that. Thanks. Good night and I’ll see you tomorrow,” I’m about to hang up but an idea comes across my mind. I’m desperate to have a human companion. “Ring me up when you’re back, and let’s go to the French restaurant on La Brea.”
“Sure. We could do it tomorrow. My arrival time is around five in the afternoon.”
“Okay. I’ll make a reservation at seven or seven-thirty just to be safe.”
“Perfect.”
I don’t waste a minute after I hang up. I search for Melissa and find the gossip right away. Unbelievable. I frown with disgust. Why on earth did she do that? If she created the rumor for a purpose, she had to let me know first. I want to call her right away, but I don’t want to speak to her while naked in the tub, even though she can’t see me. So I jump out of the tub, dry myself, and rush into the house.
I dial Melissa’s number, although she might also be in New York.
