Page 14 of Ghosted in Arkadia
James smiles, but I don’t miss how it fails to reach his eyes. Darkness lives inside him, the bottom of the hole left by Cathy’s absence. It lives in both of us and sharpens our smirks to a cruel edge as we silently agree to test Killian’s skin.
“Mateless. Recently,” James says, just as loud, but he includes a fake whispering tone.
“Five years ago,” Killian says from behind me, but I don’t turn to look at him.
“Recently,” James says, starting his sentence for the second time, “graduated. He took a year-long stay in Arkadia Asylum—”
“Hey!” Killian shouts from behind me, and I smile at James, finding the chord to hit. I file the information away, not needing to use it yet.
The floor trembles as Killian approaches, and I can feel it in my palms against the desk. James’ smile finally reaches his eyes, but only because they have filled with a twisted joy.
Dark humor and violence. That’s what the mateless rely on. Killian is one of us now. He needs to get used to it. We might not share the same pain, but it is the one thing we all own.
I straighten up, turning around before using the top of James’ desk as a seat. My feet brush against the floor less than a foot from Killian’s shoes. He looks down at me with those stupid fucking glasses, denying me the ability to glimpse his inner truths. The eyes are always crucial. Wearing glasses indoors is enough to make me suspicious.
“If you have questions, ask them. I’m an open book. But none of that shit.” Killian points to me and then to James.
“Trust is earned around here, Killian.” I look around at the other officers. They are watching intently, and I am no doubt a leading source of entertainment for them. I think I’m boring, but I’m all for it if it brings a little spice to their life. “And I don’t know you,” I say, looking back at Killian but softening my tone. “We don’t function like soulmate pairs. We work as a group. Your partner is just the person working alongside you.”
I look over my shoulder and see James standing, literally having my back.
I point back at James. “He’s earned enough trust to tell me if I should even waste my time learning your name.”
“Feisty one. Aren’t you?” Killian smiles, dropping his tone lower.
“How did your soulmate die?” I ask him directly, challenging his confidence.
“Car accident,” he says without flinching. “See. Open book.”
Nothing in his tone suggests he is speaking about the single worst moment of his life. I look back at James to confirm Killian’s story, and he nods.
“The Asylum?” I look back at Killian, intentionally poking at the subject to see if he reacts again.
“Tried to kill myself,” he says, as if it was something that happened to someone else.
I make a mental note and move on.
“And how did you get into the police academy with that on your record?” I laugh, feeling like this is a joke or a welcome-back prank.
Killian’s arms cross over his chest. Every ripple of muscle beneath his shirt push the fabric to its limit, creating a taut and uncomfortable fit. “I passed the psych eval. Temporary insanity from the shock of my soulmate’s death. I have skills that can be of use here. And clearly, I’m not afraid to die.”
The silence stretches through the station. I feel flushed and uncomfortable, caught inside the reflection of his glasses, like I am under a magnifying glass. James’ fingertips brush against mine on the desk, helping to bring me back into my body.
“I just buried one partner,” I say, needing to clear my throat to strengthen my tone. “I’m not interested in burying another. If you’re looking for a quick trip off this world, I won’t help.”
“I’m here now,” Killian says with unwavering certainty. He leans down and places his palms on James’ desk, crowding me but not touching me. He brings his face within inches of mine, making my reflection zoom in. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I can still feel James standing behind me, finding myself trapped between the men. A humming in my blood reminds me that my soulmate is also with me. I straighten my back, and Killian moves like a repelled magnet to maintain distance between us.
It shouldn’t feel comforting to know I can arrange my new partner’s funeral should he become a problem, but it does.
“What’s your story?” Killian asks backing off to give some space between us as he attempts to flip the script. A rookie move.
I’ve spent my whole life on the bottom rung. He’s just dipping his toes into this world.
“No soulmate,” I say, starting off confidently with the same story I have told my entire adult life. But the moment the word soulmate leaves my lips, my tongue turns to acid with the realization that it is now a lie. I catch the change in my expression in the reflection of Killian’s glasses and wonder if he noticed. “Never known love. Makes me a cranky bitch. And I drive.”
I pull the keys to the cruiser from my pocket and watch myself dangle them in front of Killian. He leans back, putting more space between us.
