Page 61 of Eternal Sacrifice
And neither did they.
A cup of coffee appeared before me, topped with whipped cream and caramel. I brought it to my lips and sipped the warm, comforting, gooey-ness. Internally, I was busy shoving all my emotions inside their little rooms while pulling from my calmest, quietest doors.
It’s always a party around here!
One of the voices yelled into my mind, and I took an unbothered sip from my coffee before licking a swipe of the cream with my tongue.
“How can you drink that?” Jace breathed while he stared incredulously.
“This one isn’t poisonous. You can drink it too,” I said, offering my mug.
“He turned his emotions off,” Jasper rumbled. His tone made the air vibrate.
“Great, like that’s a BIG FUCKING HELP, MATE.” Jace threw his hands into the air, and Fox stirred.
Everyone noticed. We all stopped talking, shifting our eyes to look at the bed.
Mor groaned, shifting her weight as she rolled onto her side. Her arm reached out as if she was trying to grab on to someone. Her palm splayed across the empty sheets. Feeling. Searching.
Her eyes fluttered open, black as ink. Confused. Then, terrified.
Fear swirled around the room, taking form from the thick ink of pain still oozing from her. It settled on everything and everyone. The crystals fought against the darkness, and the hellfire flames roared in the fireplace. Her fear was ice cold, seeping its way into the bones of us all.
I hid inside the recesses of my mind, putting all my energy into blocking the toxic and stifling emotions from getting further inside me. I had left myself open to the world’s feelings. Open to vulnerability. The door inside my mind, where I shoved all the emotions of Jax’s death, seemed to bang against my skull. But I couldn’t let them out. I couldn’t visit that room.
Mor shuffled to the edge of the bed. No one had spoken a word to her.
“Scream at me,” she said, looking at the floor rather than us. “Tell me this is all my fault. Scream that I was told not to fucking poke around with that shit, yet I did it anyway. Get it all out now. You can’t say anything worse than I’ve already said to myself.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, holding herself.
Even though I shouldn’t be able to feel anything but calm, I could feel her pain. It came from within me, her soul tangled up along with mine. I got up from the table and crossed the room to scoop her into my arms.
“I’ve got you, Fox.”
Sobs broke free from her, and she curled into my chest. Her body shook, and I held her closer.
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to.”
“We know that, Love,” Jace said, sitting next to me on the edge of the bed and scooping half of Mor into his lap.
He held her, physically showing her he was there, while more sobs bubbled from her, followed by loud gasps for breath. Her breathing quickened, and my chest was slick from her tears. Her desperate grabs for air started to come in shuttered pants.
We held on to her while Jasper watched from his spot at the table. His tail twitched back and forth while he warred inside his mind. His eyes were narrowed slits, and the balls of his feet made his knees bounce. He never took his eyes off her.
Her cries quieted as time passed, and her breathing evened out to a shallow pool with short steps.
“I don’t think I’ll have to tell you again not to fuck with that shit,” Jasper said, finally deciding to get to his feet.
Mor shook with each word that was spoken with an edge made to cut.
“Enough,” Jace said firmly.
Jasper opened his mouth, ready to lash out with his anger. But he stopped. His eyes flitted to her petite frame held between us. His face contorted like a mirror shattering, and his rage broke into the tattered remains of grief. Broken, he got down on his knees at the end of the bed, draping his body over the top of Mor.
We held each other.
After what could have been ages, we untangled like the opening of a flower, revealing Mor at the center. She lifted her head, showing tear-streaked cheeks. Her hair was a tangle of knots, and her eyes were black from edge to edge.
Mor sat up, moving to her own space on the bed between Jace and I. Jasper remained on the floor in front of her feet.
