Page 77 of Eternal Sacrifice
“I thought you said you didn’t want sex in the dungeon,” I laughed, despite the atmosphere.
She pressed her palm against my chest, pushing herself up to look me in the eye. A small smile threatened. I reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“It’s okay to feel sad, Fox. But you can’t drown yourself in it.”
The words struck her, kick-starting her mind as she looked like a lightbulb should appear above her head.
“Drowning myself. That was part of it. Drowning myself and then….” She sat up and turned to face the flames as if they could help her find the memory. “Then the graves. But I had to pull myself free from the water first.”
The door opened, and Jasper walked in. He looked at Mor as she continued staring into the fire, mumbling words that didn’t make sense. That was when I felt the emotion he had tried to bury ever since Jax died.
Guilt.
It ate away at him; every time he saw her, it took another bite.
“Hey, Princess,” he said softly, attempting to sound close to how he used to speak to her.
Her head snapped in his direction, and she quieted. I could feel something like uncertainty coming from her, along with something a shade away from fear.
“Hey,” she breathed. Since Jax’s death, she usually sounded like she had just finished crying, and this time wasn’t any different. The sound only made Jasper’s guilt worse.
“How are you?”
“Oh, fucking hell no. Don’t answer that, Fox.” I said, pointing to her before his question could register. “How the fuck do you think she is?”
War filled the room, flowing from his closed fists as he replaced his guilt with something more manageable.
“Hell, that works,” I said. “Go on and get angry. Try something other than avoiding her.”
His eyes narrowed, and I saw smoke rising from between his fingers.
“Aren’t you finished punishing her yet?”
With that remark, Jasper snapped. His hands were engulfed in flames, and I scrambled out of the nest to keep Fox safe while Jasper set his sights on me. A fireball zipped past my head, and I made a sharp U-turn.
“Or maybe you want to get rid of me and have her all to yourself. Wasn’t that the plan to start? Saying yes, when everyone else agreed not to take a mate.” I chose the words I knew would dig into him worst.
They also dug into Fox, and I saw her curl into a tight ball. There wasn’t another way to get Jasper through this, and until he did, we wouldn’t be working as a pack.
Jasper clenched his teeth together. “Just go on and say it!”
“It wasn’t your fault, Jasper,” I said, hoping it would be enough to release him.
“Of course it was.” The fire in his hands extinguished. “I should have locked the book up the moment it first got its hooks in her.”
“Hindsight’s a bitch. But that doesn’t make it your fault,” I said, ready to refute any excuse he could think up.
“I said yes,” he breathed, knowing we had gotten to the well of his guilt pool.
“You would rather erase every moment we spent with her?”
His face morphed into a myriad of complex emotions. Regret. Pain. Anger. Jealousy. Sorrow. They mixed into a blender and spilled across his face like an abstract painting.
“No,” he managed after a moment. “And that makes me selfish.”
“Love is selfish,” I said, gaining his attention along with Fox’s. “Love is unkind. Love is a brutal awareness of your deepest weakness and the source of your greatest strength. Love set Jax free, and if anything can bring him back, it is love.”
Jasper turned his head to look at Fox, huddled inside her nest. She had a look of fragility, like a being that has been so thoroughly broken they were rendered untouchable.
