Page 27 of Bottoms
I imagined Nik would transition the easiest. Participating in training sessions and sharing time with me on the range. I knew he would be overjoyed with my progress on my groupings and stance. Nik would find plenty to do, and I certainly wouldn’t miss getting into a little trouble with him from time to time. He would be the one to sneak out with, just to fuck in the woods, while Fynn scrambled in the dark to find us.
My mood turned as my brain shifted tracks to remind me what would really happen. Fynn would attempt to hold three powerful, wealthy men against their will. Men who were all capable of killing. They would all be dead within a half-hour. What would I do if I somehow managed to make it out of that exchange alive?
Be free?
The voice inside my head whispered, and my heart slowly bumped in my chest. I would be free to do whatever I chose if they were all dead. There was enough money in my bank account back home for me to pick up and start a new life far from here. No one would be coming for me.
Why didn’t that sound as good?
“Hand me another cigarette, would you, sweetheart?” Fynn said, gesturing to the small box still in my hands.
I took one out and gave it to him before grabbing one for myself. Lifting it up to put between my lips, I grabbed a random lighter from the console and brought a flame to life. I wasn’t sure what to expect as I took my first hit, but it wasn’t the momentary whole-body buzz before the coughing began. My lungs burned as I fought to catch my breath, but as soon as I did, I took another drag to chase the sensation. It took me a few tries before I figured it out.
Fynn cracked my window, but didn’t say a word. I wasn’t sure why I was looking to him for permission. Maybe I wanted to see if he cared about me enough to stop me from doing something stupid, like starting up a bad habit.
Then again, Fynn didn’t seem to care too much about bad habits.
Wonder how he would feel if I asked him to go to church on Sundays?
“To answer your question,” Fynn said, pulling us back onto the right track. “I don’t know what to do with you and them anymore.”
“What was your plan, then?” I asked.
“When I first found you,” Fynn looked over to me as if he was having difficulty figuring out how to edit the story. “I felt like you needed someone to watch out for you.” He finished, and I knew by the way he said it that it was a lie. “Then I thought I could give you to them. As a sort of gift and apology. Which I did. But, in my time watching you, I learned you, Nessa.” His eyes flitted to me for a moment before he took another drag from his cigarette, and I did as well. “I know who you are better than you know yourself. And I know what you need and how you need it.” Fynn was slowly working himself up as he explained. “They were doing it wrong,” he said, near snarling.
“So, you stepped in to do it right?” I asked, exhaling. Trying my hand at his logic while my body felt like it was floating on a cloud for a moment.
“I had to step in,” he said. His tone was much softer for me. “If I didn’t step in that night, you would be dead.”
I shrugged. The idea of death had become one of those things Fynn desensitized me to.
“So, yes,” he said pointedly. As if saying it out loud would help to cement his justification. “I stepped in and took over. And look, you are already so much stronger.” Fynn smiled, like he was expecting me to do what his father couldn’t and tell him he did a good job.
Guess Fynn would be left disappointed once more.
“I didn’t ask to be stronger, Fynn,” I said, my tone harsh. “Just like I didn’t ask for someone to kill my dad and make me this way in the first place. You keep telling yourself all this was for me, but I think you did this for you. You aren’t making me stronger; you’re changing me into whatever twisted version of me you want.” I let the butt of my first cigarette fall through the gap in the window, landing somewhere on the bridge as we headed for home.
“I’m making you better than you ever dreamed you could be,” Fynn said sternly into the frigid mood of the car. It wouldn’t be much longer before the city lights would start to fade away as he whisked me and my cheeseburger back to imprisonment.
“Who said you got to decide that for me?” I said quietly. Turning to look out the window now that there were more interesting things to see. The conversation with Fynn wasn’t going anywhere anytime quickly.
“Vanessa.” His tone was low and dark, marking out a warning. “I. Own. You.” He punctuated each word as if striking me with them.
“Right, sorry,” I said. Letting survival take the lead for now.
A moment of tense silence filled the car, clinging on and deciding to stay. My gaze remained firmly out the window. My mind was unable to wander as it played Fynn’s words back to me on a loop.
He owned me.
Trees started to appear closer together, and I knew we were finally getting near home. I was ready to go to my room and curl up in my bed and cry until I fell asleep. It didn’t even matter what part of my fucked-up life I was crying over at this point. I needed the draining energy of a good cry to knock my ass out for a few hours. I was practically ready to jump out of the car when the headlights illuminated the familiar front porch.
Fynn turned the wheel, driving around to the back so he could park the car inside the woods. He didn’t bother to put anything over my head to block my view on the ride back, and he didn’t need to. There was no way for me to make it out of here on foot.
I got out of the car without saying a word once he parked and shut off the engine. His door opened and then slammed shut a moment after.
“Hey!” he shouted. His voice was full of anger as he rounded the back of the car towards me. I had only managed to take a few steps.
My body immediately responded, stopping in place. But it happened to be the bratty side that answered his call, and I turned around slowly, as if asking him who the fuck he thought he was. The logical side of me screamed out that he was my owner. He already told me as much. The bratty side didn’t seem to care since I answered him with a disrespectful, “What?”
