Page 24 of Bottoms
But a lonely wife would gain a heavy sum.
I picked up singing again right before the song ended. Part of me wanted to hit replay, hear it again, and actually listen to it this time. But this was one of those old-fashioned radio stations. The next song came on after a paid advertisement, but it wasn’t a song I knew. My eyes settled on watching out my window as the terrain slowly shifted and the New York City skyline came into view.
Fynn pulled the car into a mostly empty parking garage. We were plunged into complete darkness when he turned off the engine and killed the lights. I could still sense Fynn in the seat next to me. His movements around the cabin to gather supplies were nearly visible to some part of my mind. My hand reached into the darkness to grab the thin strip of skin between his coat sleeve and his gloves. Our skin made contact, and all my awareness of him felt bundled into that single point of contact.
“Wait,” I whispered into the darkness. I felt his gaze pointed in my direction, but did not know how close he was.
“I’m waiting,” he whispered.
My mind’s eye recreated his face from memory. I imagined a single eyebrow raised, visible, since his hair was secured with a purple scrunchie. I could feel the breath of his words wash over my lips. All the hairs on my arms rose, and I felt my nipples harden beneath my layers. I turned my head towards the front of the car, internally warring against the slow feelings of attraction I was developing towards Fynn.
“Shouldn’t I have gloves or something too?” I said, trying to think of what I wanted to say.
He reached into the back of the car before something soft landed on my lap. My fingers rushed to grab it, knowing it was exactly what I asked for. Fynn always had everything taken care of. My mind seemed content with that being the item I needed, and I opened the door to the car. Ready to watch a man die.
I followed behind Fynn, uninterested in anything other than doing as I was told to ensure my milkshake add-on. We walked through the dark hallways, and I wondered if Fynn had taken care of the security cameras before we came or if he would scrub them after.
The lights in the hallway flicked on, and Fynn quickly opened one of the doors and pulled me inside before a door further ahead opened. He watched through a crack as two men emerged, shaking hands and chatting. I imagined one of them was the unlucky man scheduled to die tonight, but my eyes were pulled deeper into the room. There were floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the far wall.
“Is this the building Colten worked at?” I whispered, pointing towards the familiar view.
“Yup,” Fynn whispered back. His eyes fixed on his prey.
I wanted to push down the memories from the night I came to this building. The night I had sworn wasn’t about sex, yet I still managed to lose my virginity. I never could control my body, and this time my mind joined in, as it gave me a vivid flashback of that night.
“They’ve separated. It’s time to snag our mark,” Fynn said, but I was busy trying not to make it obvious how turned on I was.
The room suddenly felt suffocatingly hot, and I started to fan myself. Moving the plastic strands of my blonde wig off my neck so I could cool down quicker.
“Shit,” Fynn breathed. Heading towards me instead of after his mark like I needed him to. “You weren’t ready for this yet. Sorry, sweetheart,” he said with a kind voice as his hand came up to rub against the side of my neck.
If I had been having a panic attack like he thought, the touch of his gloved hand on my skin would have helped to bring me back into the present. But this wasn’t a panic attack. I was so worked up from the pent-up sexual energy I had nearly come from memory, and now I needed to roll with the excuse of having a panic attack.
“Go finish your work. I’m just going to stay here and breathe for a while,” I said breathlessly. Fynn’s thumb rubbed against my neck. My treacherous brain and body imagined the feeling of those strong hands against other, more sensitive parts of my body.
Fynn squeezed in with his thumb slightly while he stared into my eyes. It almost felt like a promise to return before my skin was left cold again in his absence. He left the room as swiftly as a shadow. He was the embodiment of death himself, and I had decided I wanted to flirt with death somewhere along the line.
My head seemed to clear once Fynn was gone, and I turned to walk over to the windows. It had been a long time since I had checked on my little ant community. I pressed my hand against the glass and then my forehead, hoping to cool my skin. I closed my eyes to the sight of the ant people, finding I no longer really cared if they were still running around the same paths.
The more I tried to calm myself, the angrier I got. All the stupid fucking people down there. Running along the same stupid fucking path. But I wasn’t even on the path anymore, and no one fucking cared.
My feet started moving, but my mind was in complete agreement when I cracked the office door open to peek into the hallway. It was back to dark and deserted, which was exactly what I needed. I slipped from the room, swallowed up by the darkness. Heading for the nearest stairwell, I knew I had to travel up. The executive floor was high, after all.
Walking all the steps up to the executive floor took a long time, and I was slightly out of breath when I reached the door to Colten’s office. I took the gloves off my hands to let my fingers trace the letters of his name on the sign. Despite the simmering embers of anger that remained after my journey, my touch was tender.
I expected the door to stand firm, but it clicked open under my touch. Opening it, I looked at the chair behind the desk. Half expecting to find Colten behind it. His dark black hair would be slicked back while his glasses slid down his nose. My mental image was so vivid that it took me a minute to realize that the office was dark, cold, and empty.
The sounds of my feet didn’t echo across the room as I chose to creep over to the desk. It felt invasive to be here, like walking through a graveyard at night. If ghosts wanted to get up to their own little parties at their houses in the middle of the night, who was I to interrupt that?
I dragged my finger across the top of his desk. Touching places that he touched. It was almost as if I could still feel part of the electric energy that connected us, waiting here for me. An idea burst into life, and I jumped into action when I realized there wasn’t much time. I hurried around the desk and took a seat in Colten’s chair. Breathing in his scent while my hands scrambled to open the drawers. I searched desperately until my fingers wrapped around a pen. Grabbing the first sheet of paper on his desk, I didn’t care about the text already printed on the page as I started to scrawl out a note.
I didn’t forget you.
My heart hammered in my chest as I looked at the words scrawled at the bottom of a signed contract. It was both an accusation and an admission.
The door to Colten’s office opened, and I knew it was Fynn. The sheet of paper was safely tucked away amongst the other pages on his desk, and the pen was back in its drawer. I sat back in the chair like a crowned ruler, my ankles crossed on the desk.
“Getting comfortable?” Fynn laughed. I heard the lock click after he shut the door behind him.
