Page 75 of Bottoms
I scrolled through a few hundred pages, knowing I would be coming back and reading every last word he wrote until I could recite it. But I wondered if there was something in here that could give me an answer. Only, I didn’t know what the question was yet, either.
The word kill caught my attention, and I stopped and went back up to see what had happened that day.
Today. Today I killed for the first time.
My breath caught in my throat. Deciding that if there was something after death, maybe this was Fynn’s way of giving me lessons still. One unorthodox lesson, and then I would crawl back into bed.
Today was my first solo heist when I turned 18, and I told dad I was ready for it. He had laughed when I showed him the blueprints of the house. I even had the mass market home security network tie. But he looked at the newspaper clipping about the small-town collector in Maryland that held three Monet paintings. The collection was held inside his estate. It was an easy one-man job, and I was the man to do it. But dad didn’t agree.
So, I went to do it, anyway. I hadn’t planned on going today either because I thought I would have my father's backing. But it didn’t matter. I was going to show him. I got into the sleepy town late. I sat in my car and did everything right. I disabled the security system remotely before looking at the blueprint.
It was idiot-proof. The paintings were displayed in the sitting room just to the right of the door. All I had to do was slip in, grab them and get out of here before anyone figured out they were gone. Dad could sell them on the black market, and my share of the proceeds would pay for my college tuition. That my dad also refuses to pay for.
This one job was all I needed to stay with the guys and the Arsenal.
I didn’t know about the secondary security system. I was halfway through removing the second painting from the wall when a police officer burst in and told me to freeze. So I did exactly what I was trained to do. I reached for my gun and fired one round into his head, ending his life instantly.
Tears welled in my eyes. But I kept reading. And it wouldn’t stop with one lesson. I had no idea how many pages I had read before I heard the sound of Nik shuffling around. My eyes flicked to the tiny clock in the corner, reading that it was eight in the morning.
Of course, he got up at the same time every day without an alarm clock. He was such a cop.
I smirked, sliding my eyes back to the screen to see if I could squeeze any more important information out before I was ripped away from it. Colten came into the room, a smile on his face, but it vanished as soon as he noticed Nik in the bed alone. I watched panic fill him as he looked around the room, finding me quickly. He put his calm, soft mask back on almost as quickly.
“Nessa?” Colten asked warily.
I was sure I was quite the sight. I had pulled my knees against my chest under the sweatshirt with the hood over my head. I could only imagine what my eyes looked like after I cried so much, I ran out of tears. No one could begin to understand what I was going through.
“You know,” Colten sighed.
I glared at him, feeling rage inside me stronger than the myriad of other emotions that clambered for a chance to dig into me.
“You knew?” I said, attempting to keep my voice as steady as possible.
Nik sat up in the bed, confused as he looked between Colten and me.
“Not specifically. But I pieced it together after Fynn took you,” Colten said, his voice effortlessly calm and soothing.
The fight in me left as quickly as it came, leaving me drained.
“You need to rest,” Colten said, coming over and getting onto his knees beside the chair.
“I need to tell you,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to deliver that without cracking. “I need to tell somebody.”
Colten nodded before looking back to Nik. “Wake Tanner up.”
“Meet us in my bedroom,” I said, feeling like I needed to be home for this. This room wasn’t home. Not anymore.
Colten carried me to my room while Nik went to get Tanner. I was already tucked into bed comfortably when Tanner and Nik walked in, each carrying an extra cup of coffee. Tanner handed me a cup, and I took it with a sad smile. It was the best I could do, but I was grateful for the comforting warmth and smell. Maybe one day it would taste good again, but when I tried this cup. I found it bitter.
I set the mug down on the table, turning to the boys as I took a steadying breath. I searched around for as many emotions as possible. Trying to shove them back into their little box so I could get through what I needed to say before becoming overwhelmed again.
“Fynn killed my dad,” I said, my voice cracking as I bobbed my head yes. My throat closed in, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
All three of them rushed forward onto the bed with me. Holding me tightly. Giving me soft kisses on the head while whispering soothing sentiments. I took a deep breath, trying to force myself to calm down as I sat up. They moved back slightly to give me some space, but none of them moved to get off the bed.
“It was an accident,” I explained.
Knowing that much to be true. My father hadn’t been a named target that didn’t live up to Fynn’s moral code. My dad was doing his job, and Fynn fucked up.
