Page 50 of Bottoms
“And that’s the part that worries me. Your time with Fynn has changed you more than you realize,” Colten chastised me like I was a girl, and he was an overprotective father trying to tell me my high school boyfriend was bad news.
“You think I can’t see how fucked up I am?” I asked, starting to feel more and more anger coursing through me. “This is all of me that’s left,” I said loudly. Opening my arms wide as if he could see the parts of me I had lost over the past few months. “I drink every day,” I continued, pointing at my fingers to symbolize counting my issues for him. “I’ve been shot, burned, shot up with narcotics. Had a spinal fluid leak. That was fun,” I bit out sarcastically. “Oh, what else?” I mused, thinking back over the start of my life with Fynn.
“I get it,” Colten sighed. The fight seemed to leave him as he uncrossed his arms.
“Do you?” I accused. “Do you really understand what it’s like to lie for hours in pain, just bad enough you wished you would die, but not bad enough to actually pass out?” I shook my head, “No, I don’t think you do.”
“I’m sorry,” he breathed.
“If you want to sit and talk,” I sighed, looking at Colten, wishing I could find the version of him from before Fynn, “I would love to talk.” I paused for a moment as the last of my fight left. “If you want to go, you can go. But this is how I feared a text message would go. Which is why I haven’t messaged you yet. There is just too much to say to leave it up to interpretation.”
“I can accept that,” Colten said, smiling lightly as he leaned against the table. At least he didn’t make his way towards the door.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked. Part of me hoped Nik would knock on the door soon to help break the tension that still circled the room.
“How is he treating you?” Colten asked.
“Fine, I guess. Once I got used to how he is,” I shrugged, hoping Colten would understand. “Was he always so intense?”
Colten sighed, taking a moment to push his glasses back up. “Fynn has always been intense. He’s just like his father. Whatever they thought was right, there wasn’t any way to convince them otherwise. I didn’t want to learn how to be a killer when my dad left. Fynn’s dad simply decided that was best, and then it was the way it was. It turned out to be the single most important skill I learned, and when I got older and faced the shame that my dad brought on to the Black name, I finally understood that.”
My mind was busy sorting through all the stories I had come to know about Colten, fitting in the piece of information that Colten hadn’t wanted to become a killer.
“Why have you killed so many people then?” I asked, remembering his massive body count. I bet Tanner didn’t even have that many notches in his belt for women he had slept with.
“Because I was good at it,” Colten answered simply. “And it’s a way of solving problems when you cannot go through legal means,” he added.
“Is that why you’re a lawyer? Covered on both fronts,” I hedged.
“I am a lawyer because my mom is a lawyer.” Colten smiled, and I was intrigued. I hadn’t heard much about Colten’s mom.
“Is she still alive?” I asked.
“She is. She moved away from New York years ago. She’s been married,” Colten paused, tilting his head toward the ceiling to make a mental count. “Four times,” he said, looking back at me. “Since my father.”
“Did you ever hear from your dad?” I asked, not knowing what happened to Tanner’s mom and Colten’s dad after they ran off together.
“Nope,” Colten said with a shrug, like he didn’t care. “They decided their love for each other was the only thing that mattered. I hated him for years. For what he did to my mother. I couldn’t understand how one person was so important to him that he could just take off with no consideration for the wreckage he left behind.” Colten took a deep breath before glaring at me, finding another spark of anger. “Until you.”
My jaw sprang free as my mind went to work, trying to figure out how any of that was my fault. His words circled my mind.
He walked towards me, getting down onto the dusty floor to kneel beside my feet. He looked up at me, covering my hands with his.
“I understand what that kind of love feels like now because that’s how I feel about you, Nessa,” he said, but only sadness was left in his voice. “I, frankly, don’t give a fuck about why I shouldn’t throw you over my shoulder and whisk you away,” he confessed.
“You get to keep me,” I said, sliding my palm against his cheek. He leaned into it. “You just have to share me with the others.”
“You mean share you with Fynn,” Colten said, his gaze hard.
“Fynn, Nik, and Tanner, too,” I amended. “He wants back in the Arsenal. Full and equal member,” I explained.
“Fine. Tell Fynn you’re coming home with me tonight, and he can pick a bedroom in Bottoms. I’ll bring you by tomorrow morning before work,” Colten said, but his tone suggested he knew it wasn’t that simple.
“One day,” I smiled. I leaned down to press my lips against his forehead. “One day, we can be one big happy family all living under the same roof. He needs to learn to trust you again, too,” I said against his skin.
“Two days a week for a couple hours while crashing your class isn’t enough. If Fynn wants to learn to trust us, he needs to do more than that,” Colten breathed, his face turning in my hand.
My fingertips brushed his lips, and my thumb started rubbing invisible patterns. He opened his mouth enough for my thumb to slip past his lips. His teeth gently scraped across the pad, making me shiver.
