Page 40 of Bottoms
“I wouldn’t say that wasn’t particularly painful,” I laughed.
“That’s because all you did was find your truth. Now the work begins because we have to figure out how to get what you want.” Fynn raised an eyebrow. “Without anyone ending up dead,” he said, as if to assure me that would be the most challenging part.
That would be the painful part. Not convincing them to be with me, but trying to keep them all alive, despite their issues with one another, would be nearly impossible. And all this was merely a consolation prize, considering I would never have freedom in my life.
I sighed, looking deeply into Fynn’s eyes as I searched for answers and truths. He had a small burst of yellow around his pupil, and it almost looked like the sun poking out on a bright blue summer’s day.
“I still don’t know the answer,” I told him.
“Answers are a hard thing to find, sweetheart,” Fynn said, as his hand came up to rest on my neck. His thumb continued its insistence on tracing invisible patterns. This time he was touching my bare skin, and I didn’t want him to stop. “It was the truth you found. Answers will come with the more truths you find. It wasn’t painful today, and maybe your next truth isn’t, either. But a time will come when you are searching for your answers, and you will question whether you can survive all the pain required for that piece. Some truths cost a lifetime of pain. But once you finally hold it in your arms….” He tapered off.
I leaned in slowly, gauging his reaction. He stayed perfectly still, allowing me to brush my lips across his. His lips parted slightly, but he didn’t jump on me like I had expected. Like I had wanted. I dragged the tip of my tongue across his lips, but he remained still other than his thumb.
“Why won’t you fuck me?” I said against his lips, punctuating it with a light kiss.
His lips moved to lightly return my kiss, but that was all I needed to press for more. Fynn kept the pace maddeningly slow, but even he couldn’t resist the pull between us. His tongue swept across mine, and his arms pulled me in closer.
My hands found their way into his hair as we kissed. I missed his long, beautiful wavy hair, but we would have plenty of time to grow it together. My fingers raked through his hair and pulled.
A low growl came from Fynn. He broke off our kiss, removing his hand from my throat. I still held his hair in my hand and used my leverage to pull his head back so I could look down at him again. His fingers gripped onto my waist, pressing in painfully. I hoped this pain would give me a truth, since that seemed to be the only currency Fynn traded in.
“Why won’t you fuck me?” I repeated. I demanded an answer in exchange for all the pain I had given him.
“Because you don’t have enough of my truths yet,” he said with a dark smile. His eyes flitted down to my sweatshirt, and his features moved into a knowing smirk. “I do love seeing you in my clothes.”
It felt like having a cold bucket of water dumped on my head, effectively leaving me chilled to the bone and no longer aroused. I released my hold on Fynn, putting as much distance from him as possible without falling out of the chair.
“You fucked Hannah?” I breathed. My body wasn’t staying cold for very long. Red hot anger quickly warmed me back up.
“You were with her a lot. I needed a camera in her room,” Fynn shrugged like that was all it was to him, but he was enjoying the pain it caused me.
“You fucked my best friend,” I said loudly. Loud enough for him to understand that whatever mood we were just in, we were not fucking in it anymore.
“So did you,” he said with a smile, and the bucket of cold water found a way to wash over me again.
“But you wanted me,” I said slowly. Trying to point out the obvious differences.
“I wanted you, but I wasn’t with you. I wanted to get into your best friend’s room to watch you. Your best friend wanted my cock. Warm pussy beats hand every time, sweetheart.”
My mouth hung slightly ajar, as I understood too much of his reasoning. I shut my mouth, deciding it was far from the worst thing Fynn could have done in the vast scheme of things.
“I know I said not exclusive to the other guys, but I need exclusive in a relationship. Except, I guess, for me. I never even considered a working relationship with multiple men simultaneously. Now that I’ve experienced it, I don’t think I can go back,” I said after a moment.
I had found more than one truth in the fleeting sensation of pain Fynn just gave me.
“I need all of you.”
13
Fynn’s Rules
“I’vebeenthinking,”Fynnstarted, breaking my gaze from the sunrise.
The mornings were getting warmer, and flowers were starting to pop up around the house. Wildflowers had taken over the raised flower bed in front of the porch, making it look like a mixture of modernity gone wild. It seemed fitting, considering that was exactly what Fynn was doing, as well.
“Why is it, every time you say that, I feel like cringing?” I laughed from inside the safety of my blanket cocoon.
“Because I don’t think like everyone else,” Fynn said through the exhale of his cigarette.
