Page 2 of Hidden Sacrifice
“No,” I interrupted, “we aren’t back to love yet.”
His raised eyebrow accused me of forgetting my lack of objection last night when he gave me a mind-shattering orgasm, while all my boys watched. No, I hadn't forgotten.
“You’re different. It feels like I don’t even know who you are, it’s making me want to step back. I don’t have any reason to trust you apart from the mate bond. When I first died and found out I had three demon mates, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. At first, I fought back against the mate bond, but I barely set my mind to that before I gave in. That bond is no fucking joke; it pulls you in. I’m not saying I want to do the same stupid thing and insist I learn who you are before I ultimately fuck you, but right now, I’m getting some serious whiplash.” I wasn’t even sure that made any sense as the words had just tumbled from my lips in a hurry to get out into the world.
His eyes flashed white, and I found it comforting to look into the eyes of the monster. Maybe the monster was the only side I had come to know.
“You miss the collar already, darling?”
I felt my pulse race as his voice washed over me. There was that shot of adrenaline he gave me. Was it wrong that this is the part of him I craved?
“I’m more worried about you having some evil backup plan where you take off and leave me for your throne or revenge. No one wants one thing their whole life and gives it up,” I said, dodging his question for now.
Jace’s gaze softened again as he came around to join me on the bed. “Darling.” His gaze roamed up and down my body, relishing me. “Neither the throne nor killing Ailill is the one thing I have wanted my whole life.” His voice softened as a sad smile stretched across his face.
Jace wasn’t all snark and bite. In the short time he’s been in Hell, I have seen a lighter side to him. This side of him felt foreign to me, but I wanted to know him better.
“When I was a child, my father ruled the kingdom with an iron fist. His expectations for me, as his heir, were exceptionally high.”
I watched his face intently as he looked beyond me to the wall. His mind’s eye was reliving these memories.
“My mother was beautiful, with long golden blonde hair and olive skin. She was the kindest woman I have ever known. She played games with Sebastian and me when we were young vampires. As we got older, she was always there to help heal our wounds from Father’s discipline. She told us stories about mates and the power that came from their love. She told me having a mate was the best gift the gods could ever give you. Finding my mate is the one thing I have wanted for my entire life.” Jace’s gaze returned to me, as if he was trying to send a mental picture of me back into his memories to show his mom.
“Then why didn’t you say something when you first figured out I was your mate? Why keep up the act if you wanted just to drop everything and be with me?” I hadn’t understood the pull between us in the short time before he put the collar around my neck and blocked off my mate bond. Once it was off, I distinctly felt the familiar mate pull towards him. It was the same spot as the other boys.
“Vampires fight to the death when there is more than one mate.”
My jaw sprang free in horror as I imagined my mates fighting over me, rather than sharing. That would be a million times worse than the round in the arena I witnessed.
“You’re not planning on killing them, right?” I looked in the other boys’ direction, wondering if I was projecting any bits of this conversation to them.
“No, Darling, I may be an asshole, but I know that going up against three of Hell’s princes won’t end well for me.” He cupped my cheek with his hand, surprising me with the gentle touch he used.
“You were going to walk away then? Keep your throne and your revenge since going up against demons was too hard?” It made sense, but it didn’t make me feel any better, either. I still felt like a consolation prize.
He raised an eyebrow at me, like even he could see that I was struggling, despite everything working out.
“This wasn’t a simple situation to manage.” He took his hand off me before looking down and sighing. “Vengeance against the person who took my mother from me has been my only concern for a very long time. Once I tasted your blood, I knew what you were to me, but going up against three demons was suicide.”
“Then your brother stabbed you in the back, stole your throne, and sold you out. You have to have some resentment. Instead, you’re walking around like everything is all peachy when you should be walking around like your sock is falling off inside your shoe.”
He laughed lightly before shifting his gaze to meet mine.
“And that right there. The smiling, laughing, happy to have lost everything makes me feel uneasy,” I said, watching as the smile slipped from his face.
We found ourselves back at the beginning, searching each other’s faces for the truth. I should roll with it and happily run away into the sunset with my mates.
“You believe I am unhappy because I am smiling?” he asked.
“No, that’s not quite it.” I frowned. If only I could figure out which words to string together to get across the point I was trying to make.
“Then what do I need to do to show you I’m fine with this? That being with my mate without facing off against your other mates is a gift.”
“You are literally a prisoner of the pack, forced to live in Hell.” I could feel my frustrations bubbling forward. Our conversation was as pointless as the one Jax and Jasper had before they settled their differences in the arena. “You don’t know me, not really. What if you get to know me and realize that having a mate pales in comparison to a throne and killing your nemesis?”
“Oh, I still plan on killing Ailill one day. Now, I imagine you by my side as it’s done, rather than being under my thumb. As far as the throne, well, that’s more complicated. I’ve been training to become the next king since I was born. I’ve never had the chance to consider a life outside of that until yesterday. This morning was the first time I woke up without the crown’s weight. I hadn’t realized how heavy that fucker was.”
I got it, in a way. When I finally realized my human life was over, I didn’t need to mourn what I had lost, not how I would have expected. The weight of society was off me for the first time, and the breath of fresh air that Hell provided was exactly what my soul needed. It was possible Jace felt the same, especially with the pull of the bond affecting both of us.
