Page 85 of Laila Manning
“When I got to you, you weren’t all there.” He said, glancing over at me as I looked at him questioningly. “You were disassociated from your surroundings.”
“How do you know that?” I wondered out loud.
“Because there was no life left in your eyes.” He held my stare as he drove without caring for the surrounding traffic, like a pro. “There was no warmth or even fear. You were hollow.”
“That’s a cruel thing to say.” I deflected, looking back out the window.
“Not if it’s the truth.”
That was the thing about Zeke, he was unapologetically curious about me. Even when it was rude or difficult. He pushed.
He prodded.
He investigated.
At first, I used to get bothered by it. I felt like he was trying to pry into the dark and disgusting parts of me, like I was some experiment he was trying to solve. But the more he did it, the more he questioned the why behind the what, I realized he was trying to knowme.
I couldn’t remember another time in my life when someone actually tried to know me. Not just the things that happenedtome or what I could offer to them.
So, I took a deep breath and faced my anxiety head-on in light of his devotion. “I escaped once.” He didn’t say anything, but a tense pause settled in his muscles where his hand still lay on my thigh. “It was before I ended up at the brothel. I don’t really remember when exactly. But I lived in this run-down motel room with three other girls.” Just talking about the room made the rotten smell of the carpet invade my senses, like I was right back there. “One night I escaped from a passed-out John, who left his car keys and wallet in his pants pockets on the floor.” I remembered the fear pumping through my body that night as I eyed them for an hour before I got brave enough to make a move. “I made a break for it and managed to get into his car and take off in the middle of the night.”
“What happened?” He asked with that calm seriousness he always had when he was in business mode.
The memories of that night assaulted me even as I tried for indifference. Looking out the window, I shrugged my shoulder. “I crashedthe car a couple of miles away. I didn’t have much driving experience, and with all the adrenaline—” I sighed, “It was a crowded city street, kind of like this one. I got out of the car wearing a dirty oversized t-shirt and nothing else, not even shoes.” A shudder ran through me as I recalled my fear that night. “People lined the streets, going in and out of clubs and bars, and I begged someone to help me. I told them I’d been kidnapped and assaulted—but no one would even make eye contact with me.”
“Jesus.” He grunted, tightening his hand on the steering wheel.
“The cops showed up, and I thought that I’d finally found my saviors to end the hellish ordeal for good.” I swallowed down the pain, “But they called the guy who owned the car, and he convinced them that I was his daughter who was mentally unstable and had stolen his car.” I sank into the seat under the weight of it all. “My pimp showed up with him and dragged me back, kicking and screaming, in the middle of a crowded street, and no one did a damn thing to help me. Right before he slammed me back into his car, one of the cops, a woman, sneered at me and said, prostitutes weren’t allowed to cry rape.”
“I’m so sorry, Laila.”
“I think that’s why I can’t just let this go with Kade.” I turned to look at him in the dark car, and he was staring back. “I think that’s why I can’t seem to just turn away when he’s desperately in need of help.”
“I get it now.” Zeke nodded, glancing back at the road as we turned back into East Valley. “I understand the depth of it now.”
“I didn’t.” I admitted, “Until right now.”
“Most of the time, we don’t grasp why we do what we do in the moment until we take time to sit back and think it through. Talk it out.”
“Maybe.” I mused, “Or maybe there’s just something about you always digging around in my head, knowing all of my darkest secrets that brings it out.” I tried joking, bringing up what I said to him that day on the sidewalk, but instantly regretted it when I remembered what I was doing when he found me that day. When I remembered whose house I was standing outside of.
“You’re doing it again.” He gently squeezed my leg, and I noticed he passed the turn to Ryker’s estate, taking the next street instead. The street that skipped the Senator’s home. “Drifting away into yourself.”
“You know, don’t you?” I watched the warm streetlights blur as we passed the houses.
Zeke sighed and turned down the next street, taking us back toward Ryker’s estate. “I think I know a small part of it.”
“I wish you didn’t know any of it.” I admitted sadly.
“I wish none of it had been done to you in the first place.” He asserted, parking his car next to the garage and turning it off, leaving us bathed in darkness and silence. “You don’t have to cut yourself open any more than you already have tonight, Dove.” He took my hand in his and raised it to his lips. “But I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t wish I knew the facts so that I could protect you from any more hurt.” He sighed, “So you aren’t left vulnerable like you were at the gala ever again.”
“I don’t want to feel like a child, always being watched.” My past meant I knew I’d always be treated cautiously, so my argument lacked conviction.
“You don’t get it, do you?” He gently shook his head and then kissed each of my fingertips. “I’m not watching you like a child, Laila.” He dropped our hands to his lap and stared directly at me until I could feel his gaze in my heart. “I’m trying to worship you like a goddess, worthy of every single second of my attention simply because youexist, and I’m so fucking obsessed with you I have no choice but to focus on you.” He leaned over the center console and slid his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me to him until our foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air. “What I’m offering you is mydevotion. My loyalty in protecting you, in honoring you, in caring for you isn’t one out of pity or guilt. It’s out of admiration.” He pressed his lips to mine, “One out of love.”
“Zeke.” I gasped against his lips, physically moved by his declaration.
“Don’t say anything.” He spoke gently, rubbing his thumb over my jaw. “I didn’t realize how deeply in love with you I was until you left me today, so I don’t expect you to say it back. But I didn’t want you to misunderstand what I feel for you as anything other than love, ever again.”
