Page 17 of Laila Manning
“If you have questions, just text me.” Carly rubbed her hand up my arm reassuringly. “You’re going to be just fine.”
“I know,” I replied, smiling back at her, believing in myself. It took a massive pep talk in my apartment before coming over to the mansion, but I felt fine about being left with Gavin.
“The guards will go in and out through the security room entrance,” Ryker informed me as Ellie slid her leather jacket on next to him. “I’ve given them strict instructions to stay out of the main living areas unless summoned.”
“Got it.” I nodded, switching Gavin to my hip as he cooed and played peek-a-boo with Jed over my shoulder. “I’m good. Really. We’ll be fine.” I repeated Carly’s affirmation. “Have fun.”
“It’s going to be a blast.” Ryker rolled his eyes, and Ellie elbowed him in the ribs. “What?” He scoffed. “I’m too old for a mosh pit.”
“And I’m too young to stay home every night,” Ellie argued, winking at me before kissing Gavin’s cheek. “Be good for Auntie Laila, Gav. I’ll see you in the morning.” She pulled back. “Thank you so much for filling in.”
“No problem. Get out of here before you hit traffic.” I waited at the bottom of the stairs as they started leaving, pausing when Jed came up to me.
“Say the word, and I’ll stay here.” He said firmly, not elaborating.
“And leave your girl, looking that good, all alone at a rock concert?” I deadpanned, looking around his shoulder to where Carly zipped up a pair of black leather thigh-high boots to match the mini leather skirt that barely covered her bits. “Yeah, right.”
She winked at me and backed toward the door. “I had to beg, borrow, and plead to get him to agree to this, Laila. I wasn’t leaving anything to chance for getting him out the door.” She blew Jed a sultry kiss. “Come on, big boy. Let’s go rock and roll.”
He groaned but followed her with a grimace my way. “Text me if you need anything, and we’ll come right back.” He stared me down. “I promise.”
“We’re good.” I waved Gavin’s little hand at his parents as they left, while he happily giggled and chewed on his other hand. When the door shut behind them and I was alone in a house filled with other people just out of sight, I quietly asked myself. “We’re good, aren’t we, little man?
Men.
The house was filled with men.
Men who were big and scary and trained to fight and kill at a moment’s notice. But who were also supposedly friends.
Allies.
Memories assaulted me from a time in my past when other men were supposed to be my friends, my allies.
Yet they were the ones who hurt me first.
“Let’s go play with all your cool toys.” I fussed at Gavin, distracting myself from the panic again.
Carrying Gavin through the house, I avoided the kitchen like the plague on my way to the den and sat in the middle of the floor with him, surrounded by his happy, colorful toys. He crawled away to his favorite set of blocks, intent on destroying any remnants of towers left standing from the last time he was here to play as I sat back against the couch and watched him.
He was so perfect and innocent. Sometimes, when he was near, I felt like his innocence could almost silence the damage done inside my head. Like somehow his pure goodness could heal something inside of me.
Then there were other times that I worried my darkness and trauma would taint his cleanness, leaving him contaminated and broken like me.
I wouldn’t survive that.
I couldn’t survive ruining another perfectly innocent baby. Not again.
“Gah!” Gavin screamed in jubilation as he knocked the last stacked tower down with his chubby hands, looking back at me for praise.
“You did it!” I cheered, smiling at him as he giggled and looked for more. “Such a smart boy.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I crept downstairs, watching the monitor for any sign that Gavin had woken. It had taken me nearly an hour to get him to sleep because he had wanted to stay up and play, fighting his tiredness. But finally, I came out victorious.
And there was a pint of mint ice cream in the freezer with my name on it as a reward.
Literally. There was a sticker on it that said ‘Laila’s. Eat it and die.’ in Ellie’s handwriting. I’m generally suspicious of freebies; experience showed me that good deeds often had hidden downsides.
But I was trying to be trusting again, and no one here had ever hurt me before.
