Page 8 of João
My love life took a back seat to my kink.
Nothing brought satisfaction. I went through the paces because that’s what you do. That was my responsibility. Shrinking behind my emotions and thoughts wouldn’t do me or anyone around me any good. So I kept pushing.
Until that voice.
“Yo! I went looking for you in the club, but they told me you hadn’t been in today. What’s wrong witchu?” Joaquim waltzed into my home study, unbothered by the fact I’d switched my code yet again to keep all my siblings from barging into my house uninvited. The fact he was in here meant…
“Yeah, Q, what’s wrong? You good?” Sal followed in, plopping herself onto my sofa while Joaquim settled on the edge of my desk.
I waited a few seconds.
“They pulled me into this, I swear.” Jardel entered last and sat next to Sal, looking disgusted with his two younger siblings but not enough to stop him from being in my shit.
“What’s the point of you having some sense if you don’t instill it in them?” I stared at Jardel, who shrugged back.
“You’ve been acting weird. And we’ve let you stew for long enough.”
“Is it the evil dad’s death that has you like this?” Sal asked, and I scoffed, shaking my head. The only regret I had about Julio was that he hadn’t died at my own hands. That’s it.
“You all know well enough that I’d never mourn that bastard.” I closed my laptop, resting my intertwined hands on my chest and leaning back on my seat.
“Yeah, I’d thought the same, but… Here we are, having to look for you on an early Saturday evening,notin the club. It’s just not like you,” Sal said quietly, and the thread of concern was enough for me to take this more seriously.
“Y’all, I’m straight. I’ll let you know if there is a problem. I’m just taking a break from some of my usual activities at the club, so I’ve been doing a lot of my work from home. This was happening before Julio died.”
Joaquim stared at me, nodding along. It was fucking eerie how much he was starting to look like Julio. Same solid, tall build, light complexion, and wavy curls; he even had a couple of grays starting to spring up at the sides. And Sal? A replica of Julio’s mother in that one picture he carried of her in his wallet. Large frame, with a beautiful face always scrunched up in a smirk. Jardel was the only one that resembled Mai and me a little, with darker skin and both of us sporting bald heads, but that was where the similarities ended. These three were a testament to that bastard’s capacity to leave a physical stamp on each of his children. The three of them didn’t need to be worried about me, no matter how much I appreciated their concern. Iwas good, and I was the one tasked with worrying about them. I kept my placid gaze on Joaquim, awaiting his final verdict.
“Something is up, but you won’t say anything until you are ready.” He shook his head in despair.
“Hold up, if you’re working from home, why are you all dressed up?” Sal asked, pointing at my deep plum suit and white shirt.
“If y’all minded your business and stayed in your own homes, I wouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone,” I replied back.
“He bought that suit a year ago and hasn’t worn it before, so whatever it is, it’s special,” Jardel observed, smirking when I flashed a warning gaze at him.
“Oh, for real? So, special occasion? Mhm, do you have a new sub, Q?” Sal inquired, sitting up straight on her perch. I clenched my jaw, aware she was trying to push my buttons by using the nickname I’d asked her to ditch when she met me. No matter how fucking open I was about my lifestyle, I didn’t love having my little sis refer to my kinky ways or my titles.
“Sal, you know better.”
“Fine, Joãoooo.” She elongated my name, showing how much trouble she’d have been if we’d all grown up together. “Where you going? Do you have a hot date?”
Jardel and Joaquim busted out laughing, their whoops of joy startling Sal. Not one to enjoy being surprised, she narrowed her eyes at them and then at me.
“Why are they laughing at me?”
“Not at you, at me,” I explained calmly.
“This nigga don’t date, Sal. Either he dominates or nothing,” Joaquim said between gulps of air.
That shit wasn’t 100% true, but it wasn’t far from my habits these past few years.
Jardel snorted. “I don’t remember the last time this man had a girlfriend or went on a date.”
“Well, now you have a new memory to hold onto.” I stood up, brushing my hands over my suit and staring at my siblings. “I’m going out on a date tonight. I was just gearing up to leave when the three of you burst into my house. Unannounced.Again.Sal, I’mma change my locks to a physical key if this continues,” I warned, leaving behind three stunned faces.
I understood their surprise. Shit, I was surprised myself, but I needed something, something to spark the plug that had been off for months. Gisele did that with her voice and her tears and her calm beauty and her determination. She’d awakened two sides of me that seldom coincided, my dominant side and my dusty heart. How to pursue her had circled my thoughts until I made a swift decision. I hadn’t been this attracted to another human being in a long time. Not giving myself the chance to explore what we could be romantically would be a disservice to me. So, putting my kink aside, I was ready to woo Gisele.
Gisele steppedout of the white car, her shared driver speeding off soon after she closed the door. I stood on the sidewalk outside where we’d agreed to meet. She wore a yellow maxi dress with long sleeves and one of those skirts with pockets women loved. The bright yellow accentuated her smooth brown skin, and she fluffed her tight coils, left loose in a halo around her face. She searched around with her big brown, hopeful eyes until she saw me, and then her lush mouth split in a delighted smile. My quiet heart leaped at the gesture. I stalked toward her and her eyes widened in appreciation, then she looked down and bit her lip.
