Page 25 of João
“I’m fine. The woman I was seeing…it won’t work out.” Better to shut this down than have them fretting over me.
Everyone quieted until Jonathon’s playlist was the only sound in the backyard. It’s like the insects and animals all stopped too.
“Who do I have to hack?” Sal hissed.
“Empress,” Devon said calmly. Better him than me. Sal had the best intentions, but my hackles raised when I imagined her trying to come for Gisele.
“It’s not her.” I shook my head.
“Oh, João, what happened?” Nevaeh asked. She’d gotten comfortable around us, the last addition to our family, all of them settling in lounge chaises while Jardel stayed by the grill, all his attention on us.
“Nothing happened. Things sometimes ain’t meant to be. But for some of you, you might see her around at the club; she wants to explore her kinks,” I said, knowing Joaquim would recognize her.
“Is this about your weird rule?” Sal asked, arms folded. Devon stood next to her, his palm holding her neck, giving her a gentle squeeze.
“We all know too much about each other,” I grumbled.
“Oh, I have to…mmm. I’ll be right back.” Nevaeh’s hand held her chest as she shot a look at Jonathon.
“Say less, Heaven, after you.” Jonathon gestured toward the French doors to Jardel’s living room. She hurried inside the house and Jonathon winked at Joaquim, swaggering behind Nevaeh at a leisurely pace.
“What was that about?” Sal asked around.
“Girl, you don’t want to know.” Solange, Jardel’s fiancée chuckled; she’d grown close to Nevaeh since Nevaeh had started dating Jonathon and Joaquim.
“Mind your business, irma,” Joaquim ordered, his attention now split between us and what was happening inside the room. I had a good idea of what it was based on the number of times Nevaeh had disappeared, followed by one of her boyfriends whenever we all hung out for more than a couple of hours together.
“When have I ever done that with the three of you? Other people, yes, but the three of you…nah,” Sal said.
“You know him; he doesn’t mix his business,” Jardel said from the grill, pulling different meats off the heat. “Let’s go to the table.”
“So because she wants to explore her kink, you’re dropping her. I should hackyou, but I already did, so I’ll have to think of something else,” Sal said, making her way to the table.
Experience assured me if I stayed quiet, they’d get the message.
Soon.
“João, with all due respect, we all…well, we all have found ways to mix both successfully. It is something that can be done. Many people do it in your club. I don’t want to be in your business; I just wanted to point that out,” Solange added her two cents.
She was right. Many people managed it. I wasn’t many people. My upbringing, what I watched my father do, how he managed his relationships… I understood enough of trauma toknow this was a weak spot for me. Domination and romance did not mixfor me. But bringing up the reasons why to my siblings and their significant others didn’t feel comfortable at all. We had all learned to communicate much better since Sal came into our lives, but this… My muscles tensed, remembering my father’s manipulative ways. We sat down and everyone’s gaze settled on me, awaiting an answer, but Joaquim…had a pensive stare, different from everyone else.
“Let’s cut it. If João says it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out,” Joaquim said with a finality that made even Sal stay quiet…for a few seconds.
“But—” she started.
“Wifey…” Devon said without looking up from his plate.
“Fine.” Sal breathed out and left it alone.
Numbness took over once more and I sat there, surrounded by love but untethered from it.
the application
JOÃO
Application for Gisele Jacquet Washington…
Staring at the document wouldn’t make the paper disappear from my desk at the club. Gisele wanted this; she was her own woman, and I had the power to make this happen for her. The only step to take was to leave my own plan aside.
