Page 20 of João
“I crafted our experiences based on what I thought you’d enjoy. If you decide to invite me on a date that you explicitly offer to pay for, I’d be happy to let you treat me. Wine and dine me away, Gisele, but beware, I’m a cheap date.” I sat back, grabbed my tumbler, and savored the excellent whiskey.
“Mhm, good to know. Well, I still think you’re being a hypocrite. The beauty of us evolving in our society is that there is space for every single gendered or ungendered experience, the choice is what’s important,” Gisele countered.
“Not if the systems of oppression and patriarchy are still deeply benefiting from our gendered society. Look at you, why didyourun away fromyourchurch?”
Gisele thought she understood and was besting all my arguments. I didn’t want to be in that type of relationship for a bunch of reasons. There’s no way I could abuse my power oversomeone I loved…there are???? limits that can get blurred when you play in love. I wasn’t willing to risk my soul for the shit. No matter how tempting it sounded.
No matter how tempting she sounded.
“Well, we can agree to disagree.” She shrugged.
“Nah, you’re here pushing me, but now you don’t want to accept your hypocrisy?”
Her eyes flashed in warning.
“I get why you brought up my church thing, and yes, people sided with him and wanted me to be the one to be okay, but if we’re looking for progress there to match what is outside of the church, we’re going to wait a long time. But like I said, we can agree to disagree, and you should be okay with that because you believe in equality and equity. So there.” She leaned back with a satisfied little smirk, one brow cocked like she’d just dared me to keep up. The sharp edge in her voice had softened into something teasing.
I felt it—that slow burn under my skin. She was settling in. And I was already leaning forward, eager for the next round.
If this woman thought it was a deterrent, she was sadly mistaken.
I wanted her more than ever.
the pedicure
GISELE
Hot water swirled around my tired feet, soothing me into a lull…until Vincent’s loud mouth startled me from the snooze I had going on as we both got our pedicures.
“Girl, when are you gonna tell me about your date?”
“It was very good. We went to the opera and then to dinner.” I nodded, then tried to see if I could find that sweet spot where every muscle released all tension. The week had been brutal at work; we were having some turnover issues in one of the departments due to some interpersonal challenges that should have never happened in the first place. An attendee had sustained a secret relationship with one of his residents and it all blew up about a year ago; now, no one wanted to be in the department with the doctor, and honestly, it was time for him to go. He was making our job very difficult. I’d prayed on what to do, and the answer was crystal clear to the point I was certain Jesus was looking at me with an “Are you for real?” expression on Their face.
“Are you really not gonna elaborate more? Like what y’all talked about, or did things get frisky?” Vincent prodded, notat all impressed with my short recounting. I hoarded every memory of last Friday, from the way he described how he would dominate me, the way he just got my likes without much explanation needed, how free I felt sharing things with him, and the spirited debate at the end of the date. And then the infuriating man, once more, called me a rideshare and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek, promising to await my call and my date idea.
That had been a week ago, and with the ball in my court, I wasn’t certain what to do. We constantly texted. He’d check in on me, asking me about my day. He had an eerie way of texting me whenever I hadn’t had breakfast or lunch.
João: Hello Gisele, how was your breakfast? I hope you enjoyed the oatmeal recipe I sent you.
Gisele: Oh, actually, I haven’t had time to eat yet.
João: Well, now is the perfect time. Send me a pic of the overnight oats.
Gisele *Pic of jar with oatmeal*
João: Seems like the perfect time to eat, boa menina
Gisele: You and your sexy Portuguese trying to convince me to stop and eat
João: Is it working? Now, do me that favor and enjoy the oatmeal.
Gisele: So bossy.
João: You don’t even know the half.
Oh, but how I wanted to know.
The ease in our text conversation spoke of a relationship of years and not an acquaintance of weeks. Several nights last week, I fell asleep next to my cell phone with good night texts from João.
