Page 49 of Finding Solace
Once again, Bella is right. She always seems to see the logic. I immediately began to think the worst and assume Reid is not in this with me. I need to do as Bella suggests. I need to fight, to show the man I love I'm still here. At least if he chooses to end what we have, then I'll know I stayed and fought. Because I believe in us and what we have together. I can only hope Reid doestoo.
After two cups of coffee and my nerves less on edge, the only thing I can do at this point is towait.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
REID
Fuck, my head is killin' me. Drinkin' with my brothers like that is not something I planned on doing. I barely remember making it upstairs last night. It takes a few minutes, but standing under the spray water helps to clear my brain fog long enough to rewind all the events that lead to the massive hangover I'm sporting. I can't imagine what Mila must have thought when I didn’t return home. Finishing my shower, I get dressed in the same clothes, then I walk downstairs to the kitchen hoping someone may have gotten up before me and made some coffee. As soon as I walk through the door, Prez is standing at the counter in the middle of pouring a mug of coffee forhimself.
"Reid. I saw your bike outside. What the hell you doin' here thisearly?"
Lifting my hand, I run my finger through my still damp hair and continue my path towards getting coffee. "It’s a long fuckin' story, Prez," I inform him, hoping he'll let itbe.
"Get you a cup of coffee and have a seat. I got nothin' but time, son." He clarifies as he pulls out a chair at thetable.
I should have known he wouldn’t let it be. Me being here like this is far from average. Doesn’t make it any better walking into the kitchen looking as rough as I do. After I fix my coffee, I stride over and take a seat across from him at the table and take a decent gulp and wait. Jake stares at me over the rim of his mug before he sets it down andspeaks.
"You gonna tell me what's going on or you gonna make me dig it out ofya?"
"Found out Mila's daughter Ava… hell, she's Noah's," I repeat for the second time in hours. Even for Jake, this is huge. He loved Noah as if he was his own too. A brief look of surprise shadows hisface.
"You got my attention. Why don’t you start from the beginning with this new-found information." heurges.
He intently listens to me retell how everything went down yesterday and why I'm here this morning. Not once does he interject with questions. He allows me to unload all of it. Talking with Jake comes as easy as it would have if my pops were sitting across from meinstead.
"Sounds like you had one hell of a day. Tell me this. You stop and think about what all this might have meant to Mila? You stop and think about the state you left her in when you hopped on your bike and left her. Left her alone?" Hechastises.
I mean.Fuck.I needed to process everything. It's not like I was never going to go back home. Too many thoughts were running through my head and too many emotions wreaking havoc. Then it dawns on me. I keep saying I or me. Jake is right. I didn't think about her at all. I was only thinking about myself and how I was feeling. I hang my head, worried I might have fucked things up with Mila. How can she trust me to love her when I walked out the door because truth and reality were too much for me to handle at themoment?
"I need to get home," I push my chair from the table andstand.
"You hold on to her, son. She's helped you more than you realize. We all have seen it. Life is too fuckin' short to try and walk the earth alone," he tells me with a distant look in hiseyes.
Leaving my coffee sitting on the table, I turn to walk out the kitchen. Before I reach the doorway I hear Jake's chair scratch as it slides on the floor, and I look over my shoulder as he stands and takes a few steps towards me and says one morething.
"Your old man would be proud. Proud of who you are and the man you have become, Reid. And I couldn’t be any prouder myself. Now go get your family, son." Then he pulls me in for ahug.
"Thanks, Jake," I tell him as we part. Leaving him lookin' more tired than usual, I head out into the morning air, mount my bike, and head towards my future. Mila andAva.
When the firehousecomes into view, I notice Bella's blue mustang sitting on the side of the road. Knowing they will have heard the rumble of the bike's engine, I go ahead and pull up near the steps and park. With each step as I climb the stairs my heart pounds a little faster. Punching in the code, I unlock the door and turn the knob and step inside to find Mila and Bella sitting on the couch. Mila's red-rimmed and sad eyes gut me. I did this to her. I'm the reason for her tears. I hurt her. Rooted in my place, I stare at her beautifulface.
"I'm going to get going. If you need me for anything, you call," Bella hugs her friend then get up and gathers her things from the table. Walking right by me, she leaves quietly closing the door behind her. I don’t take it personally. She was here to take care of and support Mila. She left knowing I need to fixthings.
I stride in the direction of Mila. She stands from the couch. I cradle her face in the palm of my hands and tell her, "I am so sorry. I should have never left yesterday." I confess wanting so bad to kiss her, but I wait. Her lipquivers.
"I understand. It's okay. It’s a lot to take in," she replies holding back her emotions. Guarding herself. Fromme.
I shake my head from side to side, "No, Kitten. What I did- leaving you was not okay. Ava being my brother's daughter changes nothing. I wantyou. I needyou. I'm so far in love with you I can't breathe without you." I confess. And it's true. She and her daughter mean everything to me. They became an essential part of my life weeksago.
Waiting no longer, I bring my lips to hers. I kiss her soft and slow. I pour my heart into the kiss. She wraps her arm around my neck as our kiss deepens. Not into a hot and heavy kiss, but one of longing, one of need. When we come up for air, her voice isn’t but awhisper.
"I was scared. Scared something might have happened to you. Scared you didn’t want us. Scared I would never again get to feel your lips on mine. Feel the way my skin tingles when you touch me. I love you, Reid. I didn’t know. I'm so sorry I didn’t know," she takes a shudderedbreath.
I tilt her head back, so I can look into her gorgeous eyes and brush her hair from her face with my fingertips. It's my turn to plead. "I'm so sorry I hurt you like I did. I'm sorry I left you alone when you needed me the most. I will spend the rest of my life making it up toyou."
"I love you. Ava and I, we both love you." She tellsme.
"I love both of you too. We can and will make this work." I reassure her. Mila looks exhausted. I'm sure she didn’t get any rest staying up with worry and doubt. Backing us up, I lower myself to the couch and lean back guiding her to follow my lead. Doing so, she settles back between my legs with her back resting against my chest. Grabbing the throw from the back of the sofa I drape it across us, and I rest my arm just under her breast and hold her close to me. "We have a little more time before Ava wakes up. Rest, Kitten. I'm not going anywhere." Linking her fingers with mine she melts into me. She falls asleep and sometime after, I do the same until I'm woken by a small tickle running down my nose. I open my eyes to find Ava who has woken me the same way I've seen her momma wake her so many times before. She is standing beside the couch with her teddy dangling at her side. Smiling at me she whispers, "Can we makepancakes?"
